Angerpated

To be so angry that your outward appearance takes on a constipated look.

Usually occurs at work following some ridiculously stupid decision made by a complete retard (or an entire team of retards). You will tend to be caught sitting at your desk with a far away thoughtful look but you're completely red-faced as if trying to push a stubborn turd out of your ass.

Christian: What the hell is wrong with Paul?

Lee: Oh he was told he's going back to work the phones at the helpdesk for a few hours so he's angerpated.

Federal Fondle

To be subjected to an enhanced 'pat down' by federal TSA cronies at the airport.

Guy1: "Dude I was hoping to get a federal fondle from some hottie when I was heading back home. But all I got was some retarded fat dude."

Guy2: "HAHA! OWNED!"

Moffatting

To be in a state of existential bliss from picking one's nose.

I need a good moffatting whenever I'm feeling down about life.