berka bathing

swimming or sun bathing in shorts & baggy t shirt to conceal obesity.

male and female {though usually female}

mandy: i'm taking the kids swimming after school why don't you come too, be fun....they allow berka bathing.....i checked.

jane: berka bathing? what makes you think i berka bathe

mandy: erm, your 50 inch hips....

jane: 46 actually. ok i'll nip home and pick up my t shirt & shorts and meet you there.

60👍 2👎

apphrodite deceiver

female whose on line photos have been transformed by photo imaging apps to make them look drop dead gorgeous when in reality they're pig ugly.

A bar....

girl: hi, you must be dave, am soooooo pleased to meet you dave, fancy that fuck we chatted about.

dave: who are you?

girl: oh yeah, like you dont know im hot babe 71...Sandra!

dave: oh no, another fucking apphrodite deceiver...

girl: so, your place or mine then for some bareback buggery?

dave: you gotta be kidding. i'd rather bareback a dead frog.

girl: WHAT!

8👍 1👎