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Narcotic to be used to subdue the will of children. Symptoms of Ovaltine poisoning:
A)Children travel in packs like wild predators, taking down their game (other children) by striking at the neck and back. Only the most vigorous of them is spared and brought as an offering to their parents house, where the other children are rewarded with a fresh suck at the Ovaltine teat.
B)Children chant mindlessly the mysterious phrase "MORE OVALTINE, PLEASE," over and over. (Short documentary footage of this phenomenom is played periodically on television and radio)
C)The stool of the Ovaltine addicted child is extremely hard and jagged, and can be harvested and used for deep sea drilling. Rachel Ray uses one to chop her veggies.
We took the kids up to see the folks, and turned off the interstate near Fairfield. As we drove down a residential street, dozens of children with glazed looks and bared teeth started to paw at the car, chanting, "More Ovaltine, Please!" over and over. I screamed, and my husband was forced to run a few down as he floored the gas pedal, and we got the hell out of there.
225๐ 44๐
1) Former NY governor Elliot Spitzer, who was given this designation by a call girl ring to protect his identity.
2)What one pitcher calls the opposing pitcher in the National League when he homers off of him. Cause he's his bitch.
3)A John who can manage to move his bowels 4 1/2 times during a single session with a prostitute.
1) Madam- Take client number nine tonight, and wear make him wear a rubber helmet.
Hillary (not her real name)- Good thing you're not running the witness protection program.
Madam- Shut your pie hole, and get on your back!
2) In 2001, Mike Hampton was client #9 to seven hurlers, but he was playing in Colorado, where I think prostitution is legal.
3) Madam- Take client number nine tonight, and bring some baby-wipes.
Hillary- **GROAN***
116๐ 55๐
To spew out every personal detail of your life to someone you've just met.
I thought we were just complaining about how long the line was at the Handy Pantry when the guy next to me covered me with personality vomit. Before I left, I knew about his divorce, his bankruptcy, and the infection he got popping a pimple on his ass.
79๐ 5๐
Nancy cancelled her plans for the evening, as she would be staying in tonight and watching CNN. Her latest stimulus package had arrived.
67๐ 68๐
A surprisingly public pedophile on the Mr. Rogers show. Fred Rogers employed Mr. Mcfeeley on a work-furlough program, and openly discussed Mcfeeley's irrisistable urges on the show. McFeeley explained that he was heavily medicated, and the children on the show had nothing to fear as long as the cameras continued to roll. He is listed in the National Registry for sex Offenders for several Mctouches and more than a few Mcfeels.
Mr Mcfeeley didn't so much enjoy delivering the mail as he did lurking around the studio when children visited the set. The Mustache was a rather weak disguise.
60๐ 23๐
Based on the teachings of the former leader of the USSR who went on to found the Beatles with Senator Joe McCarthy. Involves purging and binging, and giving peace and five-year plans a chance. John Vladimir Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov Petrovich Juan Valdez Diego de Montoya Lennon (1870-1980)
Lennon pulled his country out of the first world war in order to give peace a chance. McCarthy finished up with communist witch hunts just in time to Join Lennon and Former President Harrison and Special Prosecutor Starr at the Hollywood bowl. The girls were wet and wild when they opened up with "Can't Buy me Love." Historians believe that Beatlemania was a natural extension of Lennonism, which in turn, was a product of the reformation and the Council of Trent.
81๐ 39๐
The 13th tribe of Israel, named for the Patriarch Murray Liebowitz the Hat Blocker. Fled Palestine around 70 AD and fled to the Dingle Region of Ireland. Hoards of them poured out of the hill region and into the US, Australia, and Canada after the Potato Famine, or as it was dubbed at the time,"That afternoon we were a wee bit low on Chips." They are Ubiquitous today, being found in every profession, race, color, or creed, under the floor boards and even in the cupboards. Go have a look.
Terrence was cleaning out his tobacco tin, and out popped a Murray for the third time in a week.
"Sorry to shock you so, I was just livin' in your tobacoo tin. I'll go now, but be warned, I've 3 brothers in your dishwasher, and a few aunts and uncles in your pantry. They might not be so agreeable as I."
The Murray ran his finger along the inside of his collar and looked about the kitchen.
I've a bit of a thirst, do you mind if I borrow a jar of Ale from you before I'm on my way?"
200๐ 145๐