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Ball armour is chain mail which is set upon a ring that goes over the shaft of the penis and hangs at the base around its girth exuding a chain mail apron below to cover ones balls.
Ball armour is required around bitchy girlfriends/wives/fiancees who want to run your life into the ground and demand the right to call the shots on all sections of your life including who you are friends with, what you wear, what decor you have, what you can do on the weekend etc.
Once ball armour is secured in place behind outer garments these bitches are simultaneously muted. Though they may still rage around you even perhaps trying to spank you into some sort of submission they will actually now just be like a bad tv programme and no longer audible or able to physically harm.
Slowly they fade off scene and one realises that ball armour has again made life pleasant as you remember when life was simple easy and enjoyable and just be your unique joyful self.
Friends of Joe: Hey Joe we are going out on Saturday are you coming
Joe : I will have to run it past chick
Friends of Joe : So pussy whipped! You need ball armour
Joe : You don't know how she gets!!!! (Starts crying) WTF is ball armour????
Female platonic friend of Joe: Hey Joe how is your sore foot
Joe : Really bad thanx for asking
Female platonic friend of Joe: Thats too bad
Joe: Hey I have to get off the phone chick is about to cut my balls off for talking to you
Friends of Joe : So pussy whipped! You need ball armour
a Brad is a guy that has a heart of gold. His intentions are full of love compassion and care. He shines everywhere he goes. He wishes he could have changed life to be nicer for you always. He always fights for the underdog. He pretends that people being nasty to each other doesn't matter but the truth is he finds it hard to understand how people can be so nasty. He gets carried away trying to look after people and see people having a nice time so much cracking jokes to see them smile so much that he finds it hard to keep track of time. The truth is he just wishes the world would smile and laugh. He is unreliable because he needs to be helping people when he needs to be. Secretly he doesn't feel good enough most of the time. He wishes his father cared more about him. He is tormented by bad memories from the past. If you ever know a Brad you are very lucky. Remind him that he is very special and he is just as god would hope - someone that sees beyond the physical person to the soul with in and just wants to see that soul shine and smile and laugh.
That guy just came in and said Hi how are you to that fat lady and then gave the man with no teeth a hug and made a joke and bought him a beer.
Yeah thats Brad he wont be home on time but he will make those peoples day!
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Nasty people that steal babies from their mummas and pappas at hospital by claiming that their mummas and pappas are hopeless human specimens. But really they all know that they are just 'con artists' who have one aim and that is making lots and lots of MONEY!!!!! These people have little regard for the future of their soul or their impact upon humanity at large. They tend to slowly get eaten from the inside by microscopic bugs and die from cancers of various sorts and when they get to death, they are rejected into heaven because the angels all point out to them that they caused earth to become a much worse place because they were sooo greedy. Then they spend the next 1000 years wishing they hadn't been so nasty and greedy and superficial.
Day in the life of baby thieves...
Baby thief 1 - This mumma is so stupid we will all be driving BMW's because of her!!!
Baby thief 2 - Yeah she is an absolute pushover!!! So is her dadda! I can't wait to drive a BMW!
Later...
Baby thief 1 - I don't feel so well and now the doctor says I am going to die in 2 weeks.
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This is the polite aussie version of "No fuckin' worries mate!'
Jason - " Thanx for fixin' me car Daz"
Darren - " No Wuckin Fuh-rees"