Connicked

(con-ick-ed) v. 1) To be anally penetrated by a prosecutor who regularly cleans his own anus with the U.S. Constitution 2) To be the subject to prosecutorial misconduct to such a degree that it results the filing of a Habeas writ the day of trial 3) To piss on a U.S. Constitution wrapped in the American flag 4) To laugh while burning potentially exculpatory evidence

1) Q: How was court today? A: My butt hurts. Q: Why? A: I got Connicked.

2) Atty.: You're honor, I'd like to move that my client's habeas writ be added to the record. Judge: you haven't even given your opening statement. Atty.: I believe my client is about to be Connicked.

3) Q: Yo, what's this soggy piece of paper, and why is this flag laying here all wet? A: It must have been Connicked by the prosecutor.
4) Q: Wasn't there any evidence showing your client's innocence? A: I thought so, but when I went to the prosecutor's office to pick up my discovery there was smoke pouring out from under the door and someone inside was laughing like a hyena.

Beacon Journal

(lee-kun yer-nal) n. A news paper thought to be so unreliable that school children are prohibited from using it as a source in their current events homework.

"Do you have any toilet paper?"
"No, but I just picked up today's copy of the Beacon Journal."