John

He just has a huge, oh wait sorry, GINORMOUS DICK. Has all the bitches, and all the hoes. HE IS GOD LIKE. He is medium height, has a majestic tan, luscious hair, hazel eyes, a 4 pack and uses special made XXXL Condoms. He has pearly whites and a fresh, minty breath.

He can eat 50 Chicken McNuggets and not be fat, he has calves of steel, yet he doesn't hit the gym, not to mention his balls are made of obsidian. His sweat tastes like if God took a piss and it tasted like fresh lemonade on a hot summer's day.

HE IS OUR SAVIOUR

Meegan: So who are you dating?
Kylie: John
Meegan: Is he like how it was described in the bible?
Kylie: EVEN MORE

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