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What you get when middle-class pseudo-intellectuals try too hard to be unique. Scenekids picked up on this and a whole fashion trend exploded.
How to be a hipster:
- Love anything until it becomes mildly popular. Then hate the living hell out of it.
- Desperately make sure every one thinks that you don't care what people think.
- Shop for your clothes at thrift stores. Bonus points for plaid.
- Become an Apple Inc. iFag like everyone else (totally not conformist)
- Only listen/watch/read media no one else does.
- Don't shave.
Remember, nothing says unique or enlightened like trying too hard to be different instead of focusing on science and arts.
guy1: hey man, did you see all those hipsters?
guy2: yea man, I've never seen so many neckbeards pretending to have refined taste by paying for over-priced drinks in my life lol
guy1: what was up with all the iPhones?
guy2: well they support small business and non-conformity.
guy1: they do know there's an "Inc." at the end of Apple, right?
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The frustrating position a guy finds himself in when he has(or develops) romantic feelings for a girl in a platonic friendship who is unaware of how he feels despite numerous affections and favors.
Guys stuck in the friend zone can usually be seen giving sappy gifts, acting codependent doing her constant favors, cuddling, giving backrubs and crying themselves to sleep when she hooks up with everybody else. She remains oblivious that he's doing it all to try and woo her, since every attempt feels like an act of friendship instead.
Feminists believe it is fictitious. Any woe is actually your misogynist belief that a girl is obligated to fuck you for simply being her friend or acting really nice. tl;dr you're a pig who hasn't checked his privilege and thinks he deserves access to a woman's body when he feels like it.
Nice guys believe the friend zone is what happens when you treat girls with respect. The reality is nobody wants an overly nice "yes-man" with no confidence and the personality of a wet mop. They are also too easy to manipulate.
YOU think it's because she's too dumb to notice how much of an obvious special snowflake you are for being really super nice and attentive instead of hitting on her... you are also stupid.
Truth is, it's his/your own fault for dragging feet until the dating window closed and never speaking up. The ONLY way out now is to sit down and TALK TO HER. Maybe she'll reject you, maybe she won't... but that's life.
bimbo1: Hey you two look great together. Saw your facebook how Dave takes you out all the time, buys you dinner and does all these nice things. I'm soooo jealous he even bought you tickets to the concert and that necklace. He's so awesome I wish I had a boyfriend like that.
bimbo 2: Oh god no LOL he's just my bestest friend ever.
bimbo 1: Ouch, friend zoned.
girl: oh-em-gee I just LUV you. Flowers AGAIN thank you so much for being my cuddle buddy! I'm so lonely, if only I could find a great guy like you.
guy: well ya know, I am single after all ;)
girl: LOL eww not in a hundred years that would be like dating my brother!
guy: fuuuu.... I hate the friendzone.
girl: huh?
guy: I said uh... I wanna give a backrub?
girl: aww k! I'd take my shirt off but it's not like you'd wanna see THOSE ha-ha. so anyway i hate how Kevin always holds my head down every time I suc--
guy: god please kill me now.
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A dating disorder wherein a guy with zero self confidence has a constant need for approval and the personality of a wet mop, who blames his inability to get a girlfriend or hook up on the delusion that he is simply too nice and women only want douchebags. Contrary to feminist beliefs(again), NGS is not misogynist nor sexual entitlement. It's self-victimization.
Symptoms Include:
- insecurity
- codependency
- being too nice
- never disagreeing
- a need to please others
- blaming the friendzone
- fear of rejection
- unstable self-esteem
- thinking girls should lust for you acting overly nice...
- ...self-pity when reality
Causes:
The exact cause of NGS is unknown, though professionals agree a common factor is acting like a faggot with no backbone in a competitive dating scene.
Diagnosis:
If you think bitches constantly friend-zone you and only hook up with douches when you're obviously superior because of how supar nice and affectionate you are... then you may suffer from NGS.
Risks:
- Virginity
- Dying alone
- Friendzones
- Getting used
- Crying yourself to sleep
Treatment:
The first step is realizing that you are the problem and girls are simply not attracted to insecurity and fail. Your doctor can often prescribe a swift kick in the ass for your balls to drop, which should help develop confidence. Thick skin and a personality are also recommended.
Jake: Man why do girls like Megan keep dating douchebags instead of me? I'm so much better just look how much nicer I am. It's not fair.
David: Well have you tried busting a move or flirting or something?
Jake: No way I don't wanna come off like a douche. I mean what if she doesn't like that or something.
David: So.... you're just nice? That's it?
Jake: Not *just* nice, I'm also totally a great listener and willing to do anything they want without complaining.
David: And this is every time? Dude... That sounds like some kinda nice guy syndrome. Ouch.
Kate: Hey what about that Jake guy? He's totally into you and kinda cute.
Megan: lol I had no idea. The guy's super nice and a great listener but he never flirts or makes a move. I figured he just wasn't into me. Besides, it feels like he's sucking up to me sometimes. Such a snorefest, not really into that.
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Dying Alone is the inevitable end every basement dweller virgin eventually faces once his time is up. Nobody will miss you, nobody will care and your body will rot for weeks before anyone even thinks to complain about "a funny odor".
You have failed at life and with nothing accomplished, no children or lover there to hold your hand when your bowels relax after the exasperated sigh of utter regret makes its way out of your greasy unloved body for the final time.
People who are dying alone:
- YOU
- aspies
- weeaboos
- furries
- junkies
- feminazis
- WoW players
- the Kardashians
- Snookie
- Miley Cyrus
- anybody who says YOLO
loser: Aspies like me are gifted misunderstood intellectuals, people don't get that, nor do women, but I'm too busy having a life to deal with IRLships anway. Not to brag, but when I'm not managing at Walmart, I maintain a Level 80 Paladin on WoW and even run my own guild. I also make vLogs on YouTube with like 900 subs. I write too, you should check out my Twilight fanfic. I guess you could say I'm actually kind of a big deal.
norp: Wow dude, you are so dying alone.
guy: Hey man did you see that story on japanese men who think they're having actual relationships with 2D girlfriends? One of 'em even married his DS girlfriend!
man: Yea that's pretty sad, guy. Talk about dying alone lol
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