Main Line Mom

Main Line Moms are overattentive, overinvolved, pampered, prissy JAP-spawning machines. They'll fight tooth and nail for their kids to get undeserved As and not just because they do all their school projects for them. They hire tutors for $80/hour when their kids get an A-, shuttle their kids and their lacrosse equipment and golden retrievers around in their Landrovers, and know all the gossip about their kids' classmates before they do. Main Line moms peak at college admissions and Bar/Bat Mitzvah seasons. They tread the line between passive-aggressive and aggressive-aggressive and if you're skeptical, try Nordstrom Petites during the semi-annual sale or getting a parking spot in Suburban Square. They adore gays but they lock their car doors when they see a black person. A true Main Line Mom keeps an immaculate home and garden, but only because of the coterie of immigrant gardeners, house-cleaners, and babysitters they employ. Main Line moms know that they deserve the world and so do their kids. And they won't let you forget it.

Lower Merion High School Student 1: My mom found out from Laura Cooper's mom who heard from Robin Goldfarb's mom that Rachael Silverberg gave Jake Weinstein head under the table at Adam Rubin's bar mitzvah.

Lower Merion High School Student 2: OMG, the Main Line Mom gossip network is out of control.

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