Literary crack

Literary crack refers to books that are very, very addicting. While some claim to have fallen victim to LC from reading Harry Potter, the truest occurrence of LC is found from reading Twilight.

Just like crack, literary crack will screw your mind over in the end. Trust me, I suffer from it (from Twilight), and it's horrible. All you think about is the book, characters from the book, what the characters do in the book, ect. Basically, it consumes you.

From my own experiences, literary crack users need to read their book of choice at least once a week. They constantly quote the book, too. Fansites about the book are usually where they are, and they are very picky about details when it comes to the book.

If the book happens to be made into a movie, they love to spend their time criticizing the actors, released clips, and photographs. They won't enjoy the movie when it is released, and will complain about cut lines/scenes and added lines/scenes. After all, people on LC do know the book the best.

In serious cases of extreme LC use, they begin to have no life, and instead take it upon themselves to become someone from the book.

Although it may seem horrible to you, LC users are quite happy. It is only until the last book is released, that they go into a mental breakdown.

I've supplied literary crack to three people.

Twilight has dazzled girls across America, with each one spreading the literary crack to their friends.

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Textually transmitted disease

Addicting books that are spread from person to person. (Word of mouth or lent)

Most commonly Twilight, the first textually transmitted disease ever.

HOW TO GET A TTD.
If you you had Twilight, and you lent it to your friend, you gave your friend a TTD.

If you told your friend about Twilight and they bought it, you gave your friend a TTD.

If someone recommended Twilight to you, and you bought it (no matter how many months later), you have a TTD.

The only people who do not have TTDs are those who have not read the book yet, or those who saw it in the bookstore themselves and brought it without recommendation.

"Can I borrow New Moon? I just finished Twilight in three hours, it was that addicting..."
"Sorry, I lent it to Mike."
"DAMN IT! You give me a textually transmitted disease and you don't even give me a treatment?"

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Twihard

An serious/obsessive reader of the Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer, one leap above Twilighters.

The difference between being a Twilighter and being a Twihard, is that Twihards have embraced a new Twiligion... er.... I mean, religion based on Twilight. They live and breath Twilight. Most Twihards are for Edward and Bella. Therefore, those Twihards are all for true love & love at first sight. Point out one thing to a Twihard, and they can relate it to Twilight instantly. Savage and wild, they need every single thing to be perfect in the upcoming Twilight movie.




WAYS TO TELL IF YOU ARE A TWIHARD.
(Or at least, me being a Twihard myself, this is what I do)
1. You constantly check the Lex for new updates. Daily. (Six times an hour for me.)
2. Twilight Tuesday is the most important day of the week.
3. You dream of going to Forks, or living in Forks.
4. You have urges to visit Italy.
5. It's sick, but you wish Vampires totally existed so you can marry one.
6. You refer to Twilight as "literary crack" or a "textually transmitted disease"
7. You've supplied said literary crack to your friends, and wouldn't talk to them until they read the series.
8. Your favorite fruit is now a red apple.
9. Ruffled tulips are one of your favorite flowers.
10. Whenever you hear "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne, you can't help but replacing the words with "Edward is a Virgin"
11. When you grow up, one of your kids is going to be named Edward.
12. Your expectations on boys has suddenly shot through the roof.
13. You dream of driving a red 1953 Chevy Pickup, while your husband drives a silver Volvo s60 r.
14. You look up to the sky on a rainy day, and think "Damn I feel as if I'm in Forks!"
15. Your school projects all relate to Twilight in some way.
16. You love running to the Lex & yelling at other people.
17. You hate how Edward has a fattish, hairy chest while Jacob has a six pack.
18. You dream about killing Bella so you can date Edward.
19. If you could have one wish, it would be that you were Bella.
20. The perfect book covers have a black cover with something red in the middle of it.
21. You hate Jasper's hair, since it looks like the wig is about to pop off any minute.
22. All you want is everything to be perfect in the movie.
23. You have considered sprinkling glitter on your future/husband so you can pretend your with Edward.
24. You have seen a silver Volvo parked outside a store, and have either taken a picture with it and/or gone inside the store and look for Edward.
25. At Italian restaurants, you have ordered mushroom ravioli and a coke.
26. You know the real reason behind James going crazy is because Edward stole his cookies.
27. All of your friends think you need to see a shrink.
28. Talking with random strangers about Twilight is fun!
29. You are willing to read Wuthering Heights, since both Edward and Bella have read it.
30. Edward Cullen is your (fictional) boyfriend.
31. You've tacked Cullen on to the end of your first name... just to see how it sounded.
32. You've forced your boyfriend/husband/best boy friend to read Twilight, and made them take Edward's actions to heart.
33. Your MySpace profile is either dedicated to Twilight, or has a huge portion of it dedicated to Twilight.
34. You've Photoshopped yourself & made yourself really pale, given yourself golden eyes, and bruises underneath your eyes.
35. You enjoy criticizing every aspect of the Twilight movie, since you know they are only taking out your favorite quote/scene just to annoy you.
36. When someone makes fun of Twilight, it's like they are making fun of you, and you jump into an argument with them about how Twilight kicks ass.
37. You have realized your mean when it comes to Twilight the book & the movie, but don't care, because your only doing it out of love.
38. It was the end of the world when they released the EW magazine cover, and you took one look at Edward & wanted to puke.
39. You felt betrayed when you found out Edward would drive a hatchback instead of the s60 r.
40. You refer to to Robert Pattinson as RPattz or Spunk Ransom.
41. And finally, you are willing to spend hours on an essay/word/website that probably won't ever be read, just cause you want to talk about Twilight.

While Twilighters are open to changes with the book in the upcoming Twilight movies, Twihards are very conservative, and hate whenever something changes.

Those Twihards got really pissed off at MTV for spending a Tuesday interviewing The Bella Cullen Project.

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