boob theft

Not to be confused with the theft of a boob/ies, this inter-relationship occurrence is characterized by the taking of ownership of a partner's mammary glands and accompanying “pillow-like” tissue.

“Let me touch them.” ‘No! They’re my boobs.’ “No, they’re mine!” “Mmmmmmmmmmmm” — boob theft

theft by vagina

Not to be confused with Vagina Theft, this biological phenomenon is characterized by the unexplained disappearance of items when in the company of a vagina/s.

Yooo where’s my earring. Oh nevermind, it’s a classic case of ye ol’ theft by vagina.