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Random
A nutsack found roasting over an open fire.
Steve: Ugggh... I was sooo drunk at the campout last night.
Carl: Really? Let me see your balls.
Steve: What?
Carl: Don't worry, just pull 'em out.
Steve cautiously pulls out his testicles, slowly, one by one.
Carl: Ahhh, just what I suspected, you've got a chestnutsack.
Steve: What does that m--
Carl: You turned your balls into marshmallows, thats what it means.
Steve: Well... shit.
9π 2π
1. What occurs when a girl has a queef immediately following intercourse, when semen is still inside her vagina.
Girl: Put it in me.
Man: Why certainly, milady.
Man puts it in her.
Man thrusts.
Girl: Yippy!
Man: Well this is dandy!
Man finishes.
Man takes it out.
Girl releases massive queef gargle.
Man (pleasantly surprised): Oh Nancy, what WONΓ’ΒΒT you do?
17π 6π
What your penis turns into when exposed to temperatures below freezing.
Doctor: Can you tell me what happened sir?
Patient: Ahhhh! It hurts so badly!
Doctor: Calm down and just explain what happened to your penis, sir.
Patient: Carl, that douchebag, snapped off my crotchcicle!
Doctor: How did you get a crotchcicle in the first place?
Patient: Ummm... I was kind of... fucking a snowman.
Doctor: Ohhh, well that's understandable.
Taking a dump on your own chest.
It is near impossible.
Jet Lee can do it, but he is not proud of it.
1. "That calculus test blew my mind like a Paradoxashit."
2.
Jet Lee: I'm not doint it!
Friend: Come one man, just once, for me.
Jet Lee: Fuck you.
Friend: You're not the old Jet Lee i used to know back in college. He used to Paradoxashit all the time, but now with your big movies and millions of dollars, i quess you're too big to Paradoxashit for and old friend.
Jet Lee: It's not like that, man --
Friend: No, you've made your choice, asshole *storms out*
*long silence*
Jet Lee's Turtle: I still love you.
Jet Lee: Fuck you, turtle. Fuck you.
10π 1π