Towson

Also known as Weirdo University, Towson is located in one of the most crime ridden areas of the state. Only at Towson will you get alerts sent to your phone of someone getting held up at knife/gunpoint in a library or parking garage, or that a man was found be*ting off while following a woman to her car.

At Towson, the 80% of students are in a frat or sorority, which means you WILL NOT make any friends unless you join one. Unless you fall within the other 20% - 10% Commuter and 10% Montgomery County snob. The students from Montgomery County, or "MoCo" as they call it, think they're the hottest shit since sliced bread. They all know each other from high school, they're actually not attractive at all, and lucky for you, they don't want to be your friend. In fact, no one does!

Oh, I almost forgot to mention the phenomenal job the college does for handing out parking tickets like candy on Halloween, and the AMAZING professors at Towson, who will literally do whatever it takes for you to FAIL their course.
Overall, Towson can be summarized as a school full of losers who mostly all know each other and just want to party because, well, that's all there is to do in Maryland. With crime alerts on a daily basis, professors who will fail you with a smile on their face, and the most unappealing, snobby students ever, if you decide to go Towson, you will surely regret it.

"Hey bro where did you end up going out in Towson last night?"
"I went uptown again...man, what a weird, sh*tty night...I can't wait to go back home to New York. Why did we come here again?"
"I was wondering the same thing man. I need to go back home to Jersey and get away from these friggin annoying people as soon as possible!"

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