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(Noun) A phenomenon that happens when, while seated and taking a dump, the toilet water splashes onto your asshole, expediting the cleaning and wiping process as if you were using a French bidet.
AKA, Mexican Bidet
Dump-taker: Dude, I dropped a rock-solid deuce yesterday and got such splashback, my ass has never been cleaner before wiping.
Dump-taker's friend: Ah, yes - the classic Dutch Bidet. Why bother renovating the bathroom when you can get one of those?
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When taking a large shit and it hits the water with such force that the water comes back and splashes your cornhole.
Victoria had chipotle for lunch and multiple alcoholic beverages the night before. The combination of beer shits and chipotle had her prairie dogging until she finally reached the toilet. While unleashing the cracken on the can, the shit splashed the water with enough weight for the water to splash back up and hit her butthole. To which she reacted, "Ah how refreshing, the ole accidental bidet."
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The spout of water that comes up from the toilet and hits your ass when a turd plops into the water.
"I was just in taking a dump, and I had a pretty good american bidet from that gigantic poop."
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The act of giving someone a rim job after they have produced fecal matter with the intent of removing all poop from their asshole so that they do not have to wipe, as a bidet would do.
Matt: Eric just ate shit worse than a Russian Bidet!
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When a man sit on a toilet and his balls unintentionally dip into the water. Usually, this type of toilet can be found found affixed to a wall and has a hinged seat (not a urinal). Typically this toilet is oval in shape, has a shallow bowl and a high water level. When flushed, the contents exit through the wall not the floor. See Head Cleaner
Guy 1: “Damn! I sat down to shit and cleaned my balls in the toilet!”
Guy 2: “Ah, the Scrotal Bidet...”
When you have no toilet paper, so you clean your dirty ass in the shower.
Man, because of the toilet paper shortage as a result of Coronavirus, I've had to shameful bidet every day!
When you crush up a lil' bag of opium sprinkle it on a chinese hooker's tongue, then you get a rim job from her.
"i gots all this opium dawg, do we smoke it ? ..NAH Foool, need to get that WuWei Bidet for the real spiritual high"