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The best female/male/non-binary you will ever meet, theyβre very funny and depending on how you treat them, they can treat you like a god/goddess. Theyβre really sweet and will help you get through your hard times, though if you dare to hurt them or their friends physically or mentally your not going to want to see the sunlight again.
17π 5π
Sam is a special friend who you can tell anything to. She is loving, and gives the best hugs. She is crazy strong, and she knows her priorities. Sheβs also wicked funny and has a great laugh.
Whoβs the mom friend?
Probably Sam.
2π 1π
Hes rad as a dad makes stupid jokes, but very funny! looks like jesus and might be gay who knows... and is a chef 10/10 pancakes, says he never watches tv and is currently looking at a tv looking for a movie, and is into old music
person 1: Omg is that your dad
sams daughter and son: yea, why?
person 1: he looks like jesusπ
Think of the biggest thing on Earth... an elephant? No. Now think of the biggest thing in the galaxy... the Sun? Not that either. Now think of the biggest thing in the universe... Hercules-Corona Borealis Great Wall? Damn either your a scientist or a googler. Either way not that either. I'll tell you what it is. Sam. Sam is so gargantuan you wonder how so much mass can be stored on the human body. You even question if it is human. Think of Sam as the atlas of the world, but instead of a ripped chad, a huge inconceivable lump of fat and grease holding up the universe. Paradoxically, his mass is larger than the amount of literal atoms in the entire universe, giving credence to his name Sam, backwards Mas(s).
Pub quiz question: What is the simplest yet largest thing?
You: Space?
Pub quiz question: Nope, it's Sam.
A real cool cat with a penchant for turtleneck sweaters and snakeskin boots. Eyes like uncut diamonds, hair like the mane of a glorious auburn stallion.
He likes his women like he likes his pickup trucks: Sturdy and covered in mud. He does what he wants, when he wants. A hero to all losers, boozers, deadbeats, down-and-outers and misunderstood arty types. Self-professed enemy of 'The Man'. The poster-boy for don'tgiveafuck-ness.
Beverage of choice? Fuzzy Navel, extra cherries with an umbrella, baby.
Favorite pastimes? Walking across arid deserts, thinking 'bout life, putting injured animals outta their misery and playing Risk with his dear ol' mama.
Yup, he's a real rhinestone cowboy.
"That guy sure is somethin'!"
"Oh yeah. That's Sam."
15π 8π
Sam is a guy with a huge nine-inch cock. He gets all the girls on his dick. He has two beautifully shaved testicles. He has lots of friends who suck his cock whenever he likes. All his friends are jealous of his 9- incher. His family are the coolest people you'll ever meet. His dad has a 19-inch cock and his mum is a size F in bras.
Oh, I wish I could suck Sams 9 inch cock. It points out of his pants when he has a boner.
Damn why is my cock so small, I've heard Sam's cock is 9 inches
8π 2π