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The paralysis and stunned expression one sees on the faces of those who have waited too long for their obligatory Holiday shopping and find themselves faced with a crush of advertising fueled retail zealots at the 11th hour.
#1: "Dude snap out of it we've got to get it over with."
#2: (shaking head and blinking eyes) "Sorry man; just had a fit of Retail Epilepsy when I saw that line and all those people."
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The conditioning of most retail shoppers to provide preconceived answers to customer service providers.
Here are a few instances using Programmed Retail Response:
(Upon a customer entering)
Associate: "How's the weather today?"
Shopper: "I'm fine. How are you?"
(Upon a customer leaving)
Associate: "Fuel for Satan's fire!"
Shopper: "Thanks. You too!"
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This is the result of an incompetent person being made manager of a retail store. It results in falling behind in sales and maintence of the store. In certain cases it even causes associates to transfer to other stores.
In one case a "Zero" was made manager of the West Marine retail store located in Port Washington, NY. This "Zero," as he was refered to by "The Associates," didn't have a clue about boating nor managing for that matter. The "Zero" liked to lie to customers and talk about his cars which he "allegedly" worked on himself. This "manager" was far from a manager or a salesperson. Instead, he was much more of a child. Aged in his 30s, the "Zero" lived with his parents, owned more shoes than a girl, and consumed more sugar filled snacks than a little boy. The "Zero" additionally liked to talk about how he would go to all the theme parks on his "manager meetings" in California and ride the rides like a fanatical 13 year old. He liked to boast that he was manager and always remineded people he was hired for his "managment skills." Comming from stores like Modell's and Finish Line, the "Zero" clearly had no idea how to manage a large inventory store and crumbled under the pressure of the satanic district manager, Jan. In his nosedive to failure, the Zero made an awesome kid, Brian, transfer to another store because of his constant lies. Eventually the Zero was fired, and an awesome day of reckoning was marked in retail history for "The Associates" (people such as Brandon, Patrick, Henry, and Karl).
However, a new "Zero" would rise to the ranks of the West Marine Port Washington store. Patrick had created a new name for the old "Zero" which was "Capt. Grundle." Fittingly, "The Associates" named the new manager "Grundle Cubed" because he was another "Zero" taken to a whole new degree. Also, Henry came up with another name for "Grundle Cubed." He prefers to call him "The Rolly Polly Fat Man," but that is less relavent. So our "Grundle Cubed" has taken his throne, and much like the previous "Zero" does close to nothing. He speaks to a mere handful of customers each day because he spends close to an hour with each one. He talks to hear himself talk and always has to have the last word. "The Associates" simply have to let him win in every conversation in order to avoid him. "Grundle Cubed" is also afraid of young people working at the store and fears friendships between associates for some unknown reason. He enjoys interupting Karl as he tries to eat his lunch and read his newspaper and neglects to give Brandon a raise. "Grundle Cubed" makes everyone else find homes for items from four endless boxes of garbage but does not contribute to the effort. Lets see how long our new "Zero" can hold his throne before he is tossed out to his car for an indefinate "mental break" (where he simply listens to the awful CD101.9, eats, and watches the front of the store.) In everyone else's eyes the "Karl" should be made manager, because he simply rocks.
The journey continues as "The Associates" press onward with their battle against their second "Zero Retail Disaster."
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Australian Retail Jobs ( Vote for Syafinaz Binte Zainal ) please.
Australian Retail Jobs ( Vote for Syafinaz Binte Zainal ) please.
Someone who plays the most recent world of Warcraft expansion and sits in stormwind all day. This is because the game sucks and there is nothing to do
Don’t you ever leave stormwind? Wow you’re such a retail ryan LMAO stay scared?
Exuberant small short term investors in the stock market that pursue get-rich-quick dreams. Dumb small time investors filled with with a passionate intensity of a sports better., and the brains of a bubble head.
The retail bros are on the move, investing so much in duds that the worst possible investments work for those that by low and quickly sell high, but a bust for long term investors.