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constipational law

A law of physics that states, "when one's rectal hole is plugged, fecal matter will accumulate until critical mass is achieved and a nuclear explosion will result, provided the rectal hole is not relieved."

Oh man, constipational law dictates that I tell you it's been nice knowing you and I always thought your house and car were beautiful...but BLAMO!!!!

by darthenstein February 02, 2014


Denny's Law

The law simply states: You do not go to Denny's. You end up at Denny's.

Nobody wakes up in the morning and thinks "I'm going to go to Denny's later." If they do fully intend to go to Denny's, then Denny's Law takes effect in a slightly different fashion. A sequence of events will begin to unfold that will cause literally anything else to happen, and after a day of insanity, they may still end up at Denny's, by chance alone.

Denny's Law is also colloquially referred to as "The 11th Commandment," by some. This was originally thought to be a joke, but archaeologists just uncovered a lost piece of Moses' tablet in the deserts around Mt. Sinai, which roughly reads: "Thou Shalt Not Arrive at the house of Denny by predetermined intent, for to do so would be a sin; it is only acceptable to arrive there by chance, confusion, or the complete lack of an IHOP within an hours drive of ye location."

There is a small subculture of people known as "Denners," who spend their lives on a wild ride, attempting to end up at Denny's without actually meaning to do so at any given moment. For some, they find themselves continuously thwarted by the second form of Denny's law. But others, and they are few, have managed to catch on to something they call "The Dhenma Cycle," or "The Flow," which allows them to thoughtlessly end up at Denny's whenever it is the right moment for that to happen.

"Bro, I don't even know how, but like, I'm at Denny's right now. The last thing I remember is smoking a pile of weed at Grant's house, then I was standing on top of a building, then I was climbing a tree in my boxers at the park, and now I'm here and I think I have an elephant costume on or something..."

"Bruh that's Denny's Law. Deal with it."

by the laundromat manager November 01, 2020


Cathy’s Law

The fundamental law of nature that you will always crave Chick-Fil-A most on Sundays when it’s closed, leading to inevitable disappointment.

The phenomenon is named after the late, great Chick-Fil-A founder, S. Truett Cathy.

Last Sunday, I got fucked by Cathy’s Law again. This time I got all the way to Chick-Fil-A and pulled on the locked door before realizing what day it was. I was devastated.

by Greg Taylor July 02, 2018


Cousin-in-law

My cousins spouse.

My cousin John’s wife, Jane is my cousin-in-law.

by Blacktears80 September 16, 2018


cousin in-law

3. Your cousin’s spouse

Mary is my cousin.

Her husband is Marvin
Marvin is my cousin’s spouse, so he is my cousin in-law

by Hunter Grant Covengton July 19, 2018


Pankow's Law

If currently employed, upon accepting a new job, the time between leaving one’s old job and starting the next should be maximized and fully enjoyed, as it is totally worry-free.

"Dude, I just put in my two weeks at Cubicles Inc. I'm leaving on the 10th, and starting at Spreadsheets Corp. on the 11th."

"Seriously? What about Pankow's Law?"

"Awwwwww fuck. I better tell SC that I came down with that 6-week long disease that's been going around."

by TJones3 January 02, 2013


YesGawdwin's Law

When two or more gay men are casually talking, online, inevitably, one will make a joke referring to, or assuming, the other's position (e.g. Top or bottom).

Gay man 1: Chlorophyll is so interesting
Gay man 2: Omg, you're such a bottom.
Gay man 1: Kween, plz. I saw you last night, dancing as such.

Gay man 3: Gay man 2 just activated YesGawdwin's Law by calling Gay man 1 a bottom.

by Therealtylercodero April 20, 2017