Rural Dictionary

Canada's History

A sexual act so deviant it cannot be mentioned on TV or in front of an actual Canadian in fear that they might collapse and die of shock instantly. To perform a Canada's History the male partner must be wearing moose antlers and the female partner must be covered in maple syrup, The male then ejaculates into the Stanley cup then analy penetrates the female with a hockey stick while chanting O'Canada as he pours the contents of the Stanley cup on the female's head.

If the Penguins ask for their Stanley Cup back tell them to wash it first because I just gave Nancy a lesson on Canada's History. Also, How do you get dried maple syrup out of your pubes?

by Mysterio The Great February 5, 2010

4👍 12👎

canada's history

A history primarily based on what the United States could never accomplish: the right way to be a country.

U.S. dialogue:
Man 1: "So did you see the hockey game last night?"
Man 2: "Oh, I don't watch hockey. What with all the homo-erotic undertones- they threaten me as a person even though a gay person has never harmed me in any way, nor can I prove that the concept of homosexuality is why the world is coming to an end. Not to mention that I had that Republican rally last night where Grandma Abe blamed the Union for her broken hip. I mean really, if we were still allowed to enslave people then she wouldn't have tried to take the Jesus-head Christmas lights down by herself. Back then, all she woulda had to do was dangle some spoiled milk and bread crumbs in their faces and Tito or Red would be nothing but happy to do it."
Man 1: "I see your point. Geez, maybe if it weren't for Canada's History all those slaves wouldn't have had anywhere to flee and the Confederacy would still be in power. You can prolly even blame Canada's History for letting the gays think that they have any rights- come on, love and respect for every person of every orientation or faith is such a pipe dream."
Man 2: "Speaking of pipe dream- got any weed?"
Man 1: "Oh ya man- its the good stuff from Vancouver."
Man 2: "Sweet."

Canadian Dialogue:
Man 1: "So did you see the hockey game last night?"
Man 2: "Ya- it was good... eh?"

by canadiansabatour February 5, 2010

4👍 12👎

Canada's History

The act of inserting a penis into a toaster to heat thing's up in the bedroom or re-energize yourself for even more hot sex. Formerly known as the Beaver, but the term was thought to be too dirty.

I came so many times last night with my girl that I had to preform Canada's History to get myself back into the game.

by FortheColbertNation February 5, 2010

4👍 12👎

Canada's History

1. Sex with Stephen Colbert, or masturbating to a sexual fantasy involving Stephen Colbert.

2. Sexual acts using maple syrup as a lubricant; so named because it is often a very memorable experience.

3. The term for a group of sex acts so depraved that even to describe them to a consenting adult in the privacy of your home amounts to a violation of censorship laws.

4. The term given to a case history of someone who suffers from a rare sexual disorder resulting from their involvement in sex acts perpetrated by officials employed by the Canadian government during the late 1990's and early 2000's.

1. Your friend: Do you fantasize about Jon Stewart?
You: Sure, Jon Stewart is great. But tonight I feel the only thing that's really going to hit the spot is a little lesson in "Canada's History" (wink, wink).

2. Your friend: What did you do last night?
You: I gave my girl a bit of Canada's History she won't soon forget!

3. We were feeling especially naughty, so we talked about Canada's History all night.

4. Psychiatrist 1: I really wanted to help that poor man, but I had no choice but to tell him that our clinic could not assist him in any way.
Psychiatrist 2: Why not?
Psychiatrist 1: He was afflicted with Canada's History.
Psychiatrist: Those syrup-sucking bastards...

by Buzz_killington February 16, 2010

4👍 12👎