National use a cheesy pick up line day
“Hey girl you so hot you make the devil sweat”
“That was awful”
“Well it is August 5th”
kiss the birthday boy🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐
birthday boy: its my birthday, august 23
side hoe 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, and 13: "commere big boy!!!!!!"
The day the Minsung song "Want so BAD" was created
4 August: I'll give you an armful of cosmos flowers
Love you, I wanna place myself in a spot next to you
the day where you prank your partner by telling them you’re breaking up with them
“hey *person* i’m breaking up with you.”
“WHAT?”
“sorry it’s 24th august. that was a prank”
“Oh okay :)”
is the international Henpecked Man's Day. Men who haven't bend to women yet, are u serious?
congratulations on 6 August! You're acting like pussy, henpecked!
National slap your bestfriend day
You: slaps friend*
Friend: why did you slap me?
You: it’s 27 August National slap your best friend day!
yo he got that fuckin SCHMEAT tho, like damn daddy did you rob the butcher for that hamhock or are you just slanging the spoils of the hunt. You could choke a goddamn hippo with that hog.
Andrew August wakes up in the morning, fully erect with the salute of a thousand men, ready to bless the earth with his girth.