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august 6th was the day kai came out of a pussy
"what's today?"
"kai's birthday, august 6th"
"this bitch old"
kiss the birthday boy🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐
birthday boy: its my birthday, august 23
side hoe 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, and 13: "commere big boy!!!!!!"
the day where you prank your partner by telling them you’re breaking up with them
“hey *person* i’m breaking up with you.”
“WHAT?”
“sorry it’s 24th august. that was a prank”
“Oh okay :)”
the art of fucking cowboys in the summertime
"damn y'all i had the most amazing austin august last night"
is the international Henpecked Man's Day. Men who haven't bend to women yet, are u serious?
congratulations on 6 August! You're acting like pussy, henpecked!
National slap your bestfriend day
You: slaps friend*
Friend: why did you slap me?
You: it’s 27 August National slap your best friend day!
yo he got that fuckin SCHMEAT tho, like damn daddy did you rob the butcher for that hamhock or are you just slanging the spoils of the hunt. You could choke a goddamn hippo with that hog.
Andrew August wakes up in the morning, fully erect with the salute of a thousand men, ready to bless the earth with his girth.