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One main charcter in the crucible:
Sweats like a stallion behind the barn, the proper place where his beasts are bedded. Has raging bisceps, gorgeous long hair, no tolerance for a sickly wife, and thinks that god is dead. He has know her.
Has many names:
John Protractor
John Practice
John Tractor
John Smactor (smacked-her)
John Projector
John Procrastinator
Prohn Joctor
John proctor, exclaimed, "I Have Known Her!!!"
He is known well around the world. Is a Jewish leader who both exceeds the mortal and demi mortal realm.
The name of any creature that has a HUGE penis; anything named John Davidson has a massive penis.
-Bruh.. I named my duck John Davidson because he has a FUCKING HUGE penis.
-My sister dated a guy named John Davidson and apparently his dick is 40 inches FLACCID!
John Hodgman is a witty Yale-educated humorist known for his contributions to Apple's "Get a Mac" ads and as a Resident Expert for 'The Daily Show with Jon Stewart'. He plays the role of the PC in the 'get a mac' commercials, but in real life he is a mac user.
•He is the author of 'The Areas of My Expertise', which is a compendium of complete world knowledge (A.K.A. lies). Though he acknowleges they are in fact untrue, his quietly-convincing, deadpan humor style will make you think otherwise.
•He first started being a regular on TDS soon after he promoted his book on the show. He was invited back to be a contributor/correspondent.
•He is the host of an entertaining series called 'The Little Gray Book Lectures', which are humorous demonstrations, discussions, readings, songs, and presentations. He is accompanied by Jonathan Coulton, a talented singer/songwriter who is his friend and trubadour.
•He is a former professional literary agent; he worked for Bruce Campbell.
He later contributed to Mcsweeney's 'Ask a Professional Literary Agent'.
•He has appeared on 'This American Life' and made many contributions to them
•He plays the 'Deranged Millionaire' in They Might Be Giants' Venue Songs DVD
•His favorite words are 'that', 'is', and 'all'. I wonder why...
John Kellogg Hodgman generally kicks ass. Enough said.
Interviewer: "Has becoming an author made you more contemptuous of the lesser-beings in society, i.e. your readers?"
John Hodgman: "You would have to be an ass to ask such a question.
That is all."
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A woman infatuated and entirely obsessed with the "dark meat."
A dirty, dirty slut.
Anything can be made into a joke about John's mom.
Person1: I like hot dogs.
Person2: In John's mom!
Person1: This sucks!
Person2: Like John's mom.
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Scatman John used his stutter, which had haunted him since childhood, to his advantage to bring old school scatting to the mass market.
'scibty boo bapidipi damow bing bang booti pi doopi'
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A school full of overconfident, rich, white people who think they run shit.
See those people over there. They’re from John Champe so we can’t fuck with them.
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