Nursing School Affect Disorder (NSAD)

Depression brought on by the shit storm of nursing school

I was having a wonderful fucking summer then August happened and now I have Nursing School Affect Disorder (NSAD)!

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C.C.U.D. (COMPULSIVE CLEAN UP DISORDER)

to clean, when everything is clean, the need to clean excessivley.

NOT A ACTUAL MEDICAL TERM, AT THIS TIME.

husband: what are you doing now?
wife: cleaning the inside of the bleach container..
husband: you have a bad case of C.C.U.D. (COMPULSIVE CLEAN UP DISORDER)

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Sensory processing disorder

Also known as being soft or picky. In times of extreme hunger or famine those with sensory processing disorder often disappear. This can be seen in cases such as the Irish Potato Famine or with poor children in Africa.

I don’t eat calamari unless it’s fried because I have a sensory processing disorder.

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Selective Over-Compulsive Disorder

The state of being obsessed with details for things that don't matter, while, at the same time, not caring about things which actually matter.

You: "I just spent 6 hours organizing my crayon box in alphabetical order."

Teacher: "Your homework is written in Cheetos dust".

You: "Yeah, well homework doesn't matter. I have selective over-compulsive disorder."

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MVID (minimum viable intelligence disorder)

A psychological diagnosis that entails having enough intellegence to survive, but no more.

Sandra: Did you hear John cut his own toes off last week whilst mowing the lawn with no shoes on? Only a few days before that he told me that he cooks his food directly on the hob with no saucepan to save washing up. He's such a fool.

Ed: You need to be more sensitive about this. John was actually diagnosed with MVID (minimum viable intelligence disorder)

Sandra: Oh my god! I'm so sorry. I didn't know.

Ed: Don't worry, neither does John, the guys a fucking moron.

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Obsessive-Compulsive Email Checking Disorder (OCECD)

- noun

1. A psychiatric disorder characterized by a subject's obsessive thoughts and subsequent compulsions to check his/her email.

Tara's Obsessive-Compulsive Email Checking Disorder (OCECD) has severely compromised her job performance.

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OCDBD (Obsessive Compulsive Douche Bag Disorder)

Clinical name for being a total d bag, most of the time.

Many automobile drivers have OCDBD (Obsessive Compulsive Douche Bag Disorder). An example of OCDBD is not signaling before switching lanes.

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