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Jews

jews are members of one of the oldest religions in history. we didnt kill christ, we dont have horns, and yes, we are white. We never excluded any of you other religions so you have no right to insult us. We are nice, we love traditions, lox and bagels, going to summercamps, hebrew school, and some of us tend to shop a little too much (particularly those of us from long island), but we are full of personality and drive. Jews tend to have some connection to almost every jew they meet, no matter where it is. We have lots of holidays that no one else understands anything about. We do not decide out morals from our torah, most jews generally have their own opinions. When jews retire, and leave the northeast, most move to florida. Also, jews love us some yiddish jokes.

You'd never know they're all jewish if their last name wasn't Goldenshtein.

by Jew Rosenberg March 1, 2005

1559πŸ‘ 1708πŸ‘Ž


Jews

People who belong to one of the oldest religions in the world. Often discriminated against for things that they've never done (as protrayed in several of these other definitions). Did Jewish people kill Jesus? No, that was the Romans, but there were Jewish people in the act. Fine. But that was people a couple thousand years ago. Not me. Not my family.

We are white, black, asian, hispanic, you name it. It's offensive to call someone a jewbag, a kike, or anything of the sort, no matter what you think. Contrary to popular belief, not all Jewish people have huge noses, curly brown hair, and are really cheap. Guess what kids? There are Jews with blonde hair and blue eyes. Just. Like. You.

In fact, Jewish people are just like you, with the exception of the fact that we do not discriminate against everyone else, we do not believe Jesus is God's son,a nd we have a rabbi, not a priest. 'Nough said.

Yeah, We're Jews. What're you going to do about it?

by You-Dont-Wanna-Know April 8, 2006

1342πŸ‘ 1477πŸ‘Ž


jew

Let's Clear up some of the Misconceptions in these postings.

A Jew is a person who's mother is Jewish. (Some streams of Judaism argue that Jewish patrimony can be acquired through the father as well).
Jews are not a race but an eclectic mix of different races, nationalities, and cultures; they are a truly multi-cultural and multi-ethnic people. However, within this mix, there are distinct ethnic groups such as the Ashkenazic and Sephardic Jews that make up the overwhelming majority of the Jewish People.
Most American Jews are of Ashkenazic origin -- usually originating from Eastern Europe or the former Soviet Union. Therefore, American Jews could largely be classified as an ethnic group, hence the characteristic stereotypes, although there are exceptions.
A Jew is not a person who practices Judaism, although most Jews do adhere to some form of Jewish practice or cultural tradition.
A Jew is not an Israeli and an Israeli is not a Jew. An Israeli is a citizen of the state of Israel. While most Israeli's are Jewish, there are also non-Jewish citizens of Israel.
A Jew is not automatically a citizen of the state of Israel. A Jew must apply for and be granted citizenship to the state just like everyone else, although most are awarded citizenship rather easily.

Larry King's parents were Ashkenazic Jews. Therefore, regardless of whether Larry King practices Judaism or not, Larry King is an Ashkenazic Jew.
Larry King is not an Israeli citizen.

by NAteshot March 5, 2006

7981πŸ‘ 9463πŸ‘Ž


Jew a Jew

An expression used by a Jewish person who would like to make the point that he is even cheaper than another Jewish person who is being cheap.

Hey man, can I borrow ten bucks for this pizza; I forgot my wallet at home.

Dude, you know you can’t Jew a Jew.

by liebenstein June 9, 2013

26πŸ‘ 104πŸ‘Ž


Jew

1. (Noun) A people group originating from Israel.
Commonly used by emoes and high school kids as a word that is meant to be an insult. Often used because they've never met a Jewish person in their life or are otherwise ignorant to the Jews in their life, are stupid and can't come up with a better word, or are simply a bunch of intolerant pricks who just want someone to fight against.

"That's such a jew trick"

"Don't be such a jew and give me your lunch"

by Jewbacca123 August 10, 2009

948πŸ‘ 1082πŸ‘Ž


jews

most kick ass people on earth

Jews:
Ben Stiller (Actor), Adam Sandler (Comedian Actor), Steven Spielburg (Famoues Director), Kevin Mitnick (Most Famous Hacker), Hillel Slovak (Lead Guitarist in Red Hot Chili Peppers), Rob Bourdon (Drummer in Linkin Park), Brad Delson (Lead Guitarist in Linkin Park), Slash (Lead Guitarist in Gun's N Roses), Gene Simmons (Lead Singer of Kiss), Davin Blaine (magician), Albert Einstein (Scientist), Mel Blanc (Voice of Bugs Bunny), Matt Stone (Co-creator of South Park)

by 4d4m September 15, 2008

1179πŸ‘ 1354πŸ‘Ž


Jew

We have more fun.

"Dude, I wouldn't be so bored if I was a jew!"

"Ya, I totally agree to the max..."

by Bored christian October 20, 2008

967πŸ‘ 1125πŸ‘Ž