Calculator People

The majority of Asian people or a person who is speedy and quick at math.

Look at those Calculator People eating a bowl of rice.

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according to my calculations

Something that nerds say all the time

"According to my calculations, the square root of all finite numbers is equivalent to yada yada yada"

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I need a calculator

An office phrase roughly translated to "I need a bailout or rescue." Something awful is happening to the person who has given you this message, and it's your responsibility to bail them out. Situations in which this phrase is appropriate:

- An office camper has left the original intended topic for some light-hearted small talk about his child you hate
- An office camper with horrid breath has pinned you
- You're in a meeting that's so boring you will have to snort coke off a stripper's chesticles to balance your life back in the right direction

The message generally arrives in the form of text or instant message. When the situation is dire, email may be used. The appropriate response is generally to come up with technical nonsense to ask this person then either call or visit to bail them out.

Office Camper: "Enough about linux, did you know my child is an honor's student? She's taking all AP classes in the Spring. God we're so proud of her ... "
Jim (Victim) text messages Vince (Savior) "I need a calculator" to avoid nosy eyes understanding this dire message.
Office Camper: "She even taught some of the other children in the class how to use it! Can you believe that? Even the teacher was impressed"
Savior: "Hey Jim! Listen I need some help with linux..."
Office Camper: "Oh well I can see you're busy"

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Calculating Finances

Fingering assholes.

The Wealthy Man had a child Calculate His Finances.
Unfortunately, he broke his calculator.

The child was Calculating Finances too hard.

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desmos graphing calculator

The most innovative calculator on the market. Prioritized my Mr. Asta and picked up by Gabrielle Zappia. Mr. asta has a cat named buster that he likes to smooch on zoom calls.

Lets plug this into desmos graphing calculator class.

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Calculate Someones Mom

Calculating a mom is a slang term used often in the Azerbaijani area's. In Azeri it is "hesablamaq sənin anan", which roughly translates to "Calculate your mother". In Azeri slang, it means to have sexual relations with someones mother, and after these relations, to upload a review on that mother to some social media. This term is often used in an incestial way. When used to talk about incest it leans more towards the meaning having un orthodox/taboo sex with your own mother.

Elnur: Yo dude have you seen Rashads mom?
Togrul: Yea man. I would totally calculate her.
Elnur: Hell yea. That way everyone can know how good that pussy is.
Togrul: fuck yea.

OR:
Elnur: your mom is totally hot
Togrul: yo I calculate that on the daily
Elnur: Yo bro that is crazy I also wanted to calculate your mom
Togrul: Bro that shit is mine. I am the only man calculating dat ass

OR
Togrul: man i really want to Calculate Someones Mom
Elnur: just calculate your own mom
Togrul: oh yea! thats a great idea!

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calculate my expenses

Term used when counting the amount of change in your pocket.

Wilson: You gonna come to the cinema?

James: I dunno let me calculate my expenses

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