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Santa Claus

original name: ZΓ€nte Klas
pronounced: (tsain teh klahz)

A German Nazi doctor who dealt in psychological experimentations with the Jewish prisoners by leaving symbolic items in odd places; such as a ragdoll nailed to a wall. He also loved to play jokes on his fellow officers. In one account, Klas was locked out of a building for being a nuisance and ended up climbing on the roof and sliding down the chimney in order to get inside where he proceeded to eat all of the food and drink the last of their milk stock.

Feared by many for his extreme madness, yet unliked in high command for his lack of success, he was reassigned to an expiditionary team bound for the northern pole. Due to bad weather, the team was left stranded without resupply for weeks in which all died but one. The lone survivor's recount was a terrible one, describing how Herr ZΓ€nte Klas killed and ate the team, being the big man he was. When asked how he escaped, the survivor said Klas had been watching him closely, and told him he was a good boy and wouldn't be harmed.

All the men who were killed had, on the night before, hung up their big wool socks to dry and woke to find coal had been placed in them. Another one of Klas's symbolic jokes, they thought. Too late did they realize the truth.

So be a good boy because "Santa Claus" watches closely and rewards those who are good. But be a bad boy, and you'll find more than coal in the morning...

by Winter Wonder January 28, 2009

35πŸ‘ 34πŸ‘Ž


Yenta Claus

Origin in Jewish folklore, is a female Yiddishkeit elf who visits children during the gift giving period of time around the Chanukah/ Hanukkah and Christmas Holidays. A term for a feminine secular Jewish Santa Claus-like character used to introduce humor and as an attempt to include all children in seasonal festivities. An American Jewish magical gift giving character. See Yenta for origins of the name in Yiddish and in contemporary culture.

"You'd better not kvetch, or eat chozzerai, You'd better not greps, I'm telling you why... Yenta Claus in coming to town!" Yenta Claus, A Hanukkah Carol, Author unknown

by ToyTimeJoy September 12, 2006

8πŸ‘ 6πŸ‘Ž


santa claus

a cheap bitch

santa claus is a cheap bitch who put me on the naughty list

by poohead smelly November 8, 2019

3πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


santa claus

When you have a lot of weed and you don't want to smoke it in any usual way, you throw lot of weed in your fireplace, while your mate is up, on the roof and he's getting one fucking hot shot right from the chimney.

Pete: Hey, mate whereΒ΄s Kevin?

Dave (while throwing the weed into fireplace, grinning): HeΒ΄s on the roof getting santa claused right now.

by funny_frog January 1, 2018

4πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


Claus-strophobia

The feeling of being trapped and encroached on by Christmas; being unable to avoid or escape the commercials, the music, and the rest of the havoc that is wreaked upon all of us regardless of our religious denomination from Thanksgiving to new years'.

It's still a few days from Christmas, but I am dealing with a severe case of Claus-strophobia after going by the mall. Wake me up when it's over.

by Dr. Seth Mathus Ganz December 23, 2010

4πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


Panty Claus

A Panty Claus is a house guests who steals women's panties.

Husband: What's wrong dear?
Wife: I can't find my favorite red panties
Husband: We must have had a visit from Panty Claus

by wrangerti December 5, 2013

4πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


Santa Claus

After copulation, a partner makes a mustache and/or beard with semen on the other partner.

After the blow job, he gave her a Santa Claus.

by PeteRepeat October 1, 2006

48πŸ‘ 59πŸ‘Ž