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Joey Essex is the embodiment of everything that is wrong with the World. The definition of Joey Essex can be broken down into two parts;
1) Joey: The easiest name to pronounce for someone with an IQ lower than his own age, the two syllables can in fact be pronounced as any other combination of slurred syllables when drunk to give the same result.
2) Essex: Not actually his surname, this is simply his home as he is too dumb to remember both his name AND address.... hence Joey Essex
Taxi Driver: Where to?
Joey Essex: I'm Joey Essex..... er...... Joey Essex......Essex..... yeah proper Reem
Taxi Driver: Fucking waste of skin....
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"I fink that an essecks girwl should bey smart, sassy, fun and strivin hard in liyfe"
Girl 1: 'ave you seen the state of 'er?!
Girl 2: She's prolly an essex girl.
The type of girl that goes on yubo to look for something ✨meaningful✨ only to get their heartbroken and look like an idiot in the process.
Bro 1- “Ay bro are you still chatting to that Essex Girl”
Bro 2- “G. She wants to link man and watch a film at odeon but I just want a beat styll”
With the younger generations which I am apart of myself, Essex Boys tend to think they are hard just because they got the latest Gucci and got parents ballin' in the money, they ride around the county with their scooters and BMX's and live on a diet of McDonald's McFlurrys they stole and Energy drinks, however some of us are a bit more like me, a bit shyer, very introverted, hard working and respectful to others in public at the very least.
When it comes to Essex Girls, only a part of the stereotype is true. No Essex girls wear fucking Stilettos, fact. And not all say 'you alright love?' every two fucking seconds, however only a couple do actually do that. The part that is true, is that Essex Girls are for the most part, very slutty and gravitate towards the traditional 'Cool Guy' who they will inevitable suck off everyday after school and then start dating only to break up 2 hours later. They wear extremely tight and short skirts to school, that throughout the day will 'conveniently' creep up their body to the point where their ass is almost exposed. Their faces are approximately 70% makeup and these girls jump to conclusions quicker than Usain Bolt can do the fucking 100m sprint. They often wear shorts, maybe skinny half ripped jeans, extremely tight leggings, mini skirt, crop tops, latest Adidas and Nike shit, ten tonnes of makeup, perfume and more fucking perfume, Victoria Secret shit or just any bra or panties that make you look a fucking slut.
"Some Essex people are nice, others... Not so much"
Sitting at the toilet and having a shit, then in the same toilet sesh you have a wank
Dirty cunts been on the toilet for ages, bet he's having an Essex wank
When a dirty chav is on her period she drips her blood into a pint glass and puts it in the fridge overnight and forces her boyfriend to drink it the next day.
My girlfriend knocked me out and gave an essex icecube
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