When one takes a dump that hits the water of the toilet at just the right angle in order for the water the splash back onto the anus, making it inevitably easier to wipe with regular toilet paper.
Friend: "Dude, how do you always shit so fast?" Me:" You know, I just cut down on the wiping time." Friend: "And how do you do that?" Me: I use the old, "Bidet Shit" ploy" Friend: "Ohhhhh... good move man!"
When you crush up a lil' bag of opium sprinkle it on a chinese hooker's tongue, then you get a rim job from her.
"i gots all this opium dawg, do we smoke it ? ..NAH Foool, need to get that WuWei Bidet for the real spiritual high"
When you have no toilet paper, so you clean your dirty ass in the shower.
Man, because of the toilet paper shortage as a result of Coronavirus, I've had to shameful bidet every day!
When a man sit on a toilet and his balls unintentionally dip into the water. Usually, this type of toilet can be found found affixed to a wall and has a hinged seat (not a urinal). Typically this toilet is oval in shape, has a shallow bowl and a high water level. When flushed, the contents exit through the wall not the floor. See Head Cleaner
Guy 1: “Damn! I sat down to shit and cleaned my balls in the toilet!”
Guy 2: “Ah, the Scrotal Bidet...”
When an automatic toilet's sensor is too sensitive and flushes a toilet while you're still seated, covering your ass in nasty toilet water.
Taking a dump and leaned forward to scratch my leg and I hear, "Whoosh." Damn toilet hit me with the Ohio Bidet.
When you poo in such a way that the water from the toilet splashes and touches your butthole
That Mexican food really exploded out and redneck bidet'd me on the initial splasher.
The exact polar opposite of a bidet; instead of being sprayed with a stream of fresh water from your toilet, you spray your toilet with a high-pressure stream of hot diarrhea.
1. I painted my girlfriends toilet with a Reverse Bidet.
2. Never lift the seat after a Reverse Bidet.