woodpeckering

taking on the persona of a woodpecker at night with your male partner, especially when he is dead tired.

This could involve any of these four actions, usually in this order: 1) asking deep, eerie, emotional questions and demanding answers like a persistent woodpecker 2) wearing a hard-billed hat and poking vigorously along your partner's forehead until he answer your questions 3) making a pseudo woodpecker beak with your two index fingers pointing out from your face and woodpecking his mouth then sucking and licking his lips and mouth as if searching for food until he answers your questions 4) giving him a woodpecker-themed blow job if he hasn't yet smothered you

"Dude, why is your girl so smothered and dead?"
"Oh, last night she thought woodpeckering was life-worthy behavior."

Woodpecker lips

Quite possibly the hardest thing on the planet.

I tried to drill into that concrete, but couldn't. That old stuff is harder than woodpecker lips!