freezing Jesus

To make a (video) chat lag and/or freeze by spamming the comments. Usually due to a large amount of lurking people suddenly reacting to someone appearing on the webcam after hours of staring at a table/notebook/etc.

Coming from Ryland Blackinton's (Cobra Starship) "Who froze Jesus?" reaction to someone's "Jesus it's frozen" comment upon the sudden lag in the video.

Also see shelf kids.

Shelf kid #1: OMG I SAW SOMETHING MOVE!!!1!
Shelf kid #2: OMFG ME TOO RIGHT THERE IN THE RIGHT CORNER!!!
Shelf kid #3: IT'S GABE OMG HI GABE GABEY GABEY GABEY!!!11!!1
Shelf kid #1 & 2: GAAAAAAAABE HI GABE SOUND PLZ GABEGABEGABE SOUNDDDDDD!!!!! COME ON GABE QUIT TEASIN US UNMUTE PLZZZZ!!11
Etc.

Shelf kid #4: Stop freezing Jesus, y'all!

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Jesus Dan

Jesus answers the calls. He gets dicked down. He’s sexy. His wife and him have children called hatchlings. Praise this glorious man, or you will go to da grave

Person: I don’t know what to do
Person 2: O praise o praise this glorious man, o praise o praise this Jesus Dan

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Jesus cruisers

(Jee•ZUS•CRU•zers) n. sandals. usually with simple leather straps.

That hippy was wearing his Jesus cruisers in the winter! That dude was a hard core Deadhead.

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Jesus Chrysler

A substitute for when people feel like saying Jesus Christ but don't want to. So they say Jesus Chrysler instead.

"Jesus Chrysler,That guy is being a real ass"

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Jesus is an Astronaut

The act of ruining a deep, intellectual conversation with a random statement.

Scott: ... And that is why life is so confusing
Dean: Jesus is an Astronaut
Scott: Wait what?

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jesus bolts

The "jesus bolts" are the small, high-tensile bolts that attach the rotor pitch control push rods to the swash plateon a helicopter.

If one of these bolts fails, then one of the 'copter's rotors will be decoupled from the cyclic/collective pitch control, which is generally thought of as a Bad Thing; they are so called because if you've led a good life, afther the failure Jesus is the next person you meet.

See also zero survivability incident

Pilot: "Is this thing good to go ?"
Engineer: "Yeah, we even gave you new Jesus Bolts !"
Pilot: "Gee, thanks."

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Jesus Swagger

Someone who lives a life that reflects Jesus.

That guy has got Jesus Swagger!

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