Random
Source Code
Random
A trick of the skilled asshole; Asshole insurance. The insurance covers all acts of assholery by providing the victim with an assemblage of minions ready to vouch for the legitimacy of his/her actions.
For use in DnD 3.5:
Take the "Leadership" feat at LVL 7 and then "Asshole Insurance" at LVL 10 and you're all set.
What the hell? Another paycut... right before Christmas? Fucking asshole! Goddamn Mr. Smith and his asshole insurance.
9👍 3👎
Is the abuse of capitalism; there are two parts to Asshole Economics. First is Price gouging, the second is poor wages. In price gouging, the theory is to charge as much as the consumer is has to pay, vice how much a consumer is willing to pay. The price of the item is based off a need; the higher the need, the higher the price. Housing, pharmaceuticals and gasoline are much needed items that are price gouged. Banks that offer Adjustable Rate Mortgages start off with offering a monthly mortgage of $500, then it rapidly increases to $2500 per month in a short period of time. Pay-Day loans are yet another example of Asshole Economics, they are legal loan sharks, and they generally target military, low income and minorities. Higher Education is also guilty of this by charging exorbitant tuition fees and pricey text books, insuring that college is out of reach for the working classes.
In poor wages; the asshole managers will be totally opposed to minimum wage, citing buzzwords like “competitive performance”. When Minimum wages are imposed by the state, the asshole economist will be making massive profits, but still pay their staff barely enough to keep them from leaving. To sum up the meaning of Asshole Economics; The rich stay rich, the poor will remain poor.
Example #1
Customer: “I need these medications, if I don’t get them, I could die!”
Pharmacist: “Well, that’s your problem. It’s $3055.35 for your cancer treatment drugs, you only have $250.”
Customer #2 “Well, that’s Asshole Economics are work!”
Example #2
Employee “I have been working here for the last five years, I felt it was time to ask for a raise”
Asshole Boss “You have been working for the past five years, I felt it is time to ask for your resignation.. the answer is ‘NO’”
Employee “That’s not right!, what is this Asshole Economics?”
Asshole Boss “I will be nice to you today, either get back to work or go home”
Example #3
Homeowner: “But you said the rate would never go past $100 dollars!”
Broker: “It doesn’t matter what I said, it’s what you agreed to when you signed the contract”
Homeowner“I can’t afford this!
Broker: “Sorry to hear about this, maybe you can try payday loans.”
Homeowner: “What do you have your degree in? Asshole Economics?”
22👍 11👎
1. An asshole who knows he has to be nice to girls to get pussy!
2. A nice guy that knows he has to be an asshole to girls to get pussy!
3. When you become conscious of knowing when, where, and how to utilize your nice assholeness to your benefit to get pussy! When you have become a JEDI NICE ASSHOLE (all caps because of the respect it demands) as Jay-Z would say...I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one. Your swag is off the charts!!
Alex Rodriguez
Charlie Sheen
Vinny from Jersey Shore
"Harvey" character from the USA show "Suits"
"Hank Moody" character from the Showtime show "Californiacation"
"Vince" character from the HBO show "Entourage"
NUMBER ONE RESPONSE WHEN A GIRL CALLS YOU ASSHOLE
Girl: "You're such an asshole"
Guy: Yea, but I'm a niiiiccce asshole!
Girl: Ok...you're cool.
"There is something about that guy but I can't put my finger on it. I guess it's because he is a nice asshole."
A girl who talks shit about a guy and then turns around and sleeps with him.
22👍 11👎
The burning sensation in your butt after taking a "fire" dump. Sililar to the feeling of hemroids only spiced up a little.
Gary can't walk today because he has asshole fever.
25👍 13👎
Not your commonplace, garden variety asshole. This asshole is far more clever and is very skilled in the art of making simple-minded fools go completely insane. Has the annoying habit of continuous nonsensical babble, and also loud, ornery vocal outbursts. They usually travel in pairs but are known to have gathered in groups of as many as 6 or 7 to go pestering poor, innocent people who wish to be left alone in the woods. Most will grow to be cenial old men who sit on their porch, play banjo, and talk to themselves (Damnit, Damnit, Damnit!).
You guy are a couple 'a CRAZY ASSHOLES! (you got any pot?)
25👍 13👎
the moment a nigga is an asshole
Hey, that guy is surely an asshole nigga!
5👍 1👎
The voice you use when you're talking about someone you don't like in their own dialogue. Sometimes a slower, deeper, more stupid-sounding voice than your own for someone you think is an idiot, or a higher-pitched whine for someone who thinks they're better than you are.
I was talking about Zombieland yesterday and Don said, (friend voice)"It was awesome." But Larry came up and was like, (asshole voice)" Yeah, I didn't get it. All these zombie movies are really stupid."
5👍 1👎