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An individual that you have a crush on and you creep on in the cafeteria. The Cafeteria Girlfriend/Boyfriend cannot know that you're crushing on them.
Damn my cafeteria girlfriend/boyfriend is looking good at the salad bar today!
9👍 3👎
When the girl you've been interested in chooses the most inopportune moment to inform you she has a boyfriend. Often followed by you punching a baby.
Guy: hey man, do you have any extra babies kicking around I can punch?
Guy's wicked awesome female friend: I'll make you a fresh one, under one condition: it has to be a fatal blow. We don't want it surviving said punch. Brb. Got 9 months of work ahead of me.
Guy: If you'd rather not work the full 9 months, I'd be happy to meet you at the top of a flight of stairs.
Guy's wicked awesome female friend: :) you're the best! BTW, what has caused this baby punching tangent?
Guy: Well, I met this super cute girl the other day, and I was just about to tell her I was warm for her form when she dropped the boyfriend bombshell!
Guy's wicked awesome female friend: Harsh, dude! *hands dude a fresh baby*
2👍 12👎
What most girls with untrustworthly boyfriends want them to become. A boyfriend that you can see no matter what day of the week or what time it is.
James would only see me on the weekends but now he's a 24/7 boyfriend and we see each other all the time.
5👍 1👎
The only man worthy of such title must have the middle name Andrew and his surname needs to end in "bell".
He who is worthy also has the nickname "Tris".
Tristan is the best boyfriend ever
5👍 1👎
You
You, you are the best boyfriend in the world
6👍 1👎
This list was developed identical to the Sex Offenders List in order to give the public an opportunity to know which men (I mean boys) have satisfied the criteria of a Boyfriend Offender.
Cheat (sex or otherwise including emotional cheating)
Neglect
Abuse (physical and / or emotional)
Use (monetary or otherwise)
Drugs (including marijuana, opium, or any other plant)
Alcohol (excessive - everyday)
Feminine (characteristics of a girl - scared, pussy, etc.)
Small (if you know what I mean)
It only takes one of the criteria to make the Boyfriend Offenders List. Although; and depending on how many girls he has offended, he's liable to make the list several times when said actions are repeated to different girls. As a result, we can detect when a trend is happening and lower the potential of future relationship "Surprise! I'm an asshole." situations. Ultimately, exposing and weeding out bad boyfriends for the purpose of giving the good guys a fair shot.
Boyfriend Offenders List
14👍 6👎
The type of paranoia when you think that things are connected to your girlfriend/boyfriend. You may think that your girlfriend/boyfriend is standing right next to you, or watching you while you are doing something embarrassing.
Jack: "Dude, i think i have girlfriend/boyfriend paranoia, i always think that Samantha is watching me for some reason!"
Daniel: "Damn... that sucks, i remember having that with Katie."
Lauren: "OMG!! THIS IS SOO WEIRD!"
Jessica: "Whats wrong!?"
Lauren: "Ok, this may sound weird, but i think i have girlfriend/boyfriend paranoia!
Jessica: "Whats that?"
Lauren: "Its when you think your boyfriend is watching you."
Jessica: "Oh, that must be scary"
35👍 21👎