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Typically these people are out of shape, all bark no bite, and they spend too much time online as a keyboard warrior ready to go to Valhalla after dying in a video game battle. They may be neo nazis, they may be incels, they may be 4chan users, etc... Some couch vikings love spiritual warfare because it's the only type of warfare you can do while sitting on your ass.
If you're going to be Viking, don't be a Couch Viking
When you buy a new couch for your living area and invite friends / family to sit and flatulate on it as a sign of initiation and good luck.
I just got a couch for my apartment, come over for a couch warming party !
when you sit down and your willy gets caught in between the cushions
Person: im gonna go sit down
Also Person: FUCK SAKE WILLY DOWN GRAB THE MANDEM IVE GOT OLIVER COUCH
The single beer everyone in the room drinks because everyone wants to drink a beer but noone wants a whole one, or it is in fact the last one. This beer is typically drank over the course of a couple of hours as it was rendered warm near instantaneously.
" I don't want a whole beer so we will make this the couch beer and pass it around."...or... " if that is the last beer make it the couch beer so that we can all have some!"
a. That friend who somehow always ends up leaning on your life, crashing on your couch, and gives you nothing in return, i.e. when you're all watching TV, the couch thief asks you to get a soda for them, and when you return they've stolen your seat.
Brian is a couch thief. He venmo-ed me to split the Uber, even though he had a free ride.
The profile of one's body (predominantly the ass cheeks) that is left after getting up from the couch or their preferred chair after a long stint of inactivity.
Typically found in the wake of heavier-set individuals getting up for more Mt. Dew or seen as a Dorito-crumb outline on the gaming chairs Weebs watch anime in.
Not to be confused with the ass-print you leave on a chair when sweaty.
"Damn, the ass profile of Jack's couch ghost is super noticeable after eight hours playing Ghost of Tsushima!"
A out door piece of furniture made for 3-5 people.
Preferably used when:
A given summer you know will be a drought; you designate an old couch, in relatively geographic neutral position of the sitters of said couch¹, to throw outside. This is preferably in an abandoned lot/houses yard. The couch in question is then used for a meridian of activities such as linking, smoking, day drinking, etc.
¹The couch should be in walking distance (≥0.2 miles) of one said sitter, who can bum when he wants (within reason), who can ensure the longevity of the couch in case of (and not limited to):
a) rain secure a tarp
Sitting couch?
ill be there in 5