Random
Source Code
Random
a black wax candle is used in anal intercourse. Traditionally, Happy Birthday is sung as this is done.
omg. for my 19th birthday jack gave me a birthday surprise!
4👍 8👎
When two people are spooning and the spooner decides to slip it in without the sponee's consent it is not considered rape if the spooner shouts BAM SURPRISE! while in the act of slipping it in. Note Bam Surprise can be replaced with other surprising words. ei: SHAZAAM!
"So i was spooning with this girl i brought home last night and decided to slip it in when she was sleeping but i yelled BAM SURPRISE so it's not rape!"
4👍 8👎
Asking ones girl to lie on her back with her mouth open for the purpose(she thinks) of you kneeling over her face to perform fellatio, but instead deftly urinating in her mouth
She looked just so hot that I wanted so much for the bitch to live the dream and experience my golden surprise
2👍 3👎
When they slip it in without you knowing
I'd like to give her a nice butt surprise
2👍 3👎
When a guy sleeps with his girlfriend knowing that he has a STD (that he has caught off someone else) - he then passes it to her and blames her for giving it to him.
Frank: "Steve, how did your girlfriend take its when you told her that you had chlamydia?"
Steve: "She felt guilty and brought me a playstaion 3"
Frank: "how did you manage that?"
Steve: "I gave her the loftus surprise"
2👍 3👎
Where a guy pulls out of a woman after sex, only to be surprised to find his cock covered in menstrual blood because she didn't tell him she was on her period.
Guy 1: So did you score with Suzie last night?
Guy 2: I gave her a proper smashing, but the dirty bitch didn't tell she was on her rags - gave me with a blutwurst surprise
Guy 1: Jesus man... that's just nasty
2👍 3👎
When you have anal sex and she starts shitting everywhere.
I was fucking this bitch in the ass, but then she gave me that taco surprise and I had to back out.
3👍 3👎