Random
Source Code
Random
Overreaction over something insignificant and mundane
Geez! It was just a watch. Stop hyperventilating. Don't act like someone "took away your masturbating right".
What normal, rational girls don't want to hear.
After band class, some random kid told me "When I masturbate I think of you."
28👍 7👎
Blindness caused from masturbation as a result of ejaculating into oneselfs eyeballs.
Grandma said masturbation will make you go blind
1👍 1👎
When you want to nut in November so you do this.
Fuck No Nut November! Obsessive-Masturbation Syndrome is Real October it is!
1👍 1👎
Not only does it make you go blind and grow hair on your palms, but it also kills kittens!
Jeff: What are you doing in there Steve?
Steve: Um...masturbating
Jeff: Steve NO! Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten. Think of the kittens!
50👍 14👎
when you beat the absolute living shit outta your meat package, that a liquid located inside of your ballsack called "semen", "cum", or "jizz" will rapidly start squirting and shooting out of your penis hole at 1000 miles an hour.
but if unleashing the hot sticky jizz from your fat, thick, juicy, and erect cock into the pussy/vagina of your female partner, it will result in the female becoming pregnant and having children.
also could be considered something that you do on a daily basis since you have no girlfriend to stick your cock inside of.
(masturbating)
guy: OMAGASH im boutta unleash my sticky hot jizz all over my bathroom walls from the excessive masturbation that i have currently done
(couple)
guy: im boutta jizz all over your face, bitch!
girl: oh yes daddy uwu
1👍 1👎
what you do when you see your Grandpa.
Grandpa: *leaves room*
You: *Starts jerking off and Masturbating*