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"Jesus wept."

John 11:35. The shortest verse in the King James version of the Bible. Translated from the original Greek, εδακρυσεν ο ιησους, literally meaning, "Jesus wept.". Perhaps the sole verse in the Bible that people actually "get" without guidance. Rarely open to interpretation, only cross-reference. Having said that, what many don't understand is that it may sum up the entire New Testament in two simple words. (Note: emphasis on the word, may.)

When someone starts to say what the Gospel according to John really meant when it said, "Jesus wept.", just walk away! It could be a money scam. Caveat emptor.

by Herr Doktor Grauwolf February 14, 2009

78👍 32👎


all Jesus

1. All Jesus is a term referring to the positivity of a situation, despite a negative outlook.

Man 1:" Hey, looks like your tires went flat."
Man 2:" It's All Jesus though. Now I have an excuse to miss work."

by JoJaun Hunter June 13, 2006

13👍 3👎


Jesus Talk

A term to describe gossip.

"So much shit went down this weekend! I have soo much Jesus Talk!!"

by slothman81690 March 14, 2008

13👍 3👎


Jesus Christmas

This combination of words refers to a moment in time when you are suddenly overwhelmed, hurt, in disbelief, or just plain in the Christmas spirit. It can replace several profane words to create a tasteful way of expressing your feelings.

"Jesus Christmas, Jeff just threw up all over that chick!!"
"I think I broke my pinky toe... Jesus Christmas!!"
"Jesus Christmas that's a big present under that there tree Uncle Bernard!!"

by KricklesCG February 17, 2009

19👍 5👎


Jaundiced Jesus

1) Non-elected leader of a small group of sluttish "disciples", sharing a mutual love of orange-hued foundation, tight white miniskirts, hair wrecked by straightener over-use/discoloured hair extensions, and the obligatory bag of chips. Ususally seen shouting abuse at goths and mettlas in Staines high street/ old ladies in Romford.

2)Non-elected leader of a small group of sluttish "disciples", sharing a mutual love of orange-hued foundation, tight white miniskirts, hair wrecked by straightener over-use/discoloured hair extensions, but also hailing from a home counties convent school and sporting a public school boyfriend. Distinguished from (1) primarily in the amount of money they spend on looking cheap.

1- ran into that jaundiced jesus and her crew bottling some girl outside Staines KFC. The heady scent of Charlie bodyspray and second hand fag smoke was quite overwhelming.

2 - I hear jaundiced jesus is getting one of her manwhores to take her to ibiza on his yacht. I wonder what cup size she'll come back as?

by Social commentator extraodinaire November 12, 2006

18👍 5👎


jesus freak

Someone who persists in talking about the importance of Jesus in their life and the world to the point of being rude.

Oh no, the Jesus Freak is spouting off again.

by Observer52 August 5, 2005

694👍 359👎


Jesus Ponies

Slang used to describe Dinosaurs, there is a Facebook page "Dinosaurs are Jesus Ponies!!"

Also, a blog about Sarah Palin states that she believes in Jesus Ponies

Should be the official phrase to describe Dinosaurs

Friend 1: Dude! look at those awesome Jesus Ponies!

Friend 2: What? Don't you mean Dinosaurs?

Friend 1: Nope, those are definitely Jesus Ponies.

by chunk norris December 2, 2010

25👍 8👎