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Crumpet Mayhem

A joyous occasion when six or more crumpets are prepared per person. Preferably buttered, hot and crispy (maybe with a little grilled sugar). This is usually the result of somebody suggesting Crumpet Mayhem (usually due to an over-abundance of crumpets due to them being on special offer). The crumpets are consumed by all and enjoyed, as crumpets are loved by all.

"I'm hungry, anybody got any ideas for a good munchies?"...

..."What about Crumpet Mayhem! We got loads of crumpets and butter because they were half price, we could even sprinkle sugar on top?"...

..."Sounds great, let's get the grill on!"

by MikeSynonymous February 12, 2010

25👍 16👎


Crumpet Teeth

When someones teeth has unusual staining on them. Staining similar to the color of a crumpet or english muffin such as: off white, yellow, orange, brown or even hints of black.

He was totally cute until he smiled, it was a serious crumpet teeth situation. Brown with hints of yellow, it reminded me of a toasted english muffin. Gross!

by No Internal Monologue August 20, 2010


Crumpet Cruncher

A racist term against the English.

Sir Guy Mann: "Damn crumpet crunchers drinkin all my tea again"

by The Insult Man April 29, 2021


Crumpet bashing

Sex with a pastry twist

Let's do some crumpet bashing tonight

by RichardNixonisBae November 30, 2015


Satay Crumpet

Wiping your arse on the bath mat.

We ran outta bog roll so I had to make a satay crumpet

by Rusty ranga August 8, 2019


Dusty crumpet

A dusty little fucker who has problems like a box of old ass crumpets

Your such a dusty crumpet

by Pew.pew.pew.alpaca April 24, 2016


double crumpets

When playing Halo, or other online games, is to get a double kill, then proclaim "Double Crumpets!" to further the embarresment of the people you just killed

(Just Killing two people at once playing Halo 2)
Game: Double Kill!

Nick (In the mike): Double Crumpets!

by Nomis06 June 14, 2007