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complete losers who hang around on street corners(as opposed to the middle or a cul-de-sac) because they are so mentally challenged they like to poke their heads round and play peekaboo
townie 1:peekaboo!
townie 2:agh!wha' the fuck you doin' man
Townies, sometimes known as chavs or trendys, are sadly all too common in and around the UK.
Townies will 'give evils' to anyone who satisfys one or more of these criterias
1)likes 'goff' music
2)wears one or more items of black
3)wears a long skirt - for a townie the definition of long is 30cms. past the knee is unknown to them
4)wears anything intresting or individual EG a hat that isn't burberry
5)uses full words on an instant messenger
6)has their own skin, instead of a bottle of foundation and a tube of concealer 5 shades too dark applied to their face with a trowel.
7)plays a musical instument that isn't 'decks'
8)skates
9) has friends, as apposed to 'crew' or 'homies'
10) doesn't claim to have had sex with more people than they have met
11) wears their underwear as underwear, unlike them who wear it as outerwear
12)doesn't wear company logos across their chest or bum
13)is actually nice
if you do find a townie giving you evils, proceed to ask them what the guy who created burberry was called. they will immediatly blert out gucci.
if you are still unsure as to what a townie is, watch the quality programing of 'little britain' and pay special attention to vicky pollard
townie 1 - yeah, i got sum new bling innit?
townie 2 - yeah, if his tune's paht, it's gonna get rinsed
'goff' - WHAT?!?
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A youth who excessively travels to, or resides in town. Typically wearing skinny jeans and band t-shirt. Hair obscuring eyes. Possibly questionable sexuality.
Harry "Townie" Colovic. Such a Townie.
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Townie is a word describing a person of a sub-culture in Great Britain whose lifestyle is based on fascism, hatred and shallow-mindedness. Most grow out of being mindless during their early to mid-twenties.
Townies of both sexes are normally found in groups, loitering around town centres, as well as places that would seem odd to normal people, e.g. the parking lot of a funeral parlour, golf courses, chemists/drug stores. The loitering is a prelude to one of their hobbies which is intimidating normal humans.
Unlike decent members of society a townie, or chav, see people who look different to him or herself, as well things like culture, art, literature, education and abiding by the law, as things to be feared, hated and laughed at.
Characteristic behaviour of townies when out in public places includes riding mopeds/motor scooters with the baffles removed to create noise, spend a fortune on customizing ridiculous little cars like a Nova or Fiesta (genuine Fiesta and Nova owners excepted as their vehicle is used for transportation and not for posing), playing repetitive bass-heavy music whilst driving said customized cars (the slower the music the better. No self-respecting townie would be seen dead listening to real driving music e.g. Speed by Billy Idol, Sin by Nine Inch Nails), wearing tracksuits and football (US soccer) t-shirts with gold jewellery in abundance (no matter how expensive the clothing and accessories, they look cheap and tawdry, looking like they can’t be bothered to dress and co-ordinate their wardrobe. It’s not uncommon to hear townie girls discussing whether they should wear either their pastel pink or baby blue tracksuit to a wedding, restaurant, etc. Townies only attempt to dress up when going to townie nightclubs).
Although breeding in, and emanating from, ghettoes and slum areas of towns and cities, townies have a complete and illogical hatred of anyone who doesn't look, act and dress like them. This probably stems from their insular nature, rarely going outside of their hometown to explore the rest of the world. Lacking the I.Q. and the up-bringing to even know what manners are, let alone have manners, townies will think nothing of shouting and screaming “Grebo!” or ”Goffik!” (they are unable to pronounce 'th' and instead pronounce it ‘f’ or ‘ff’) along with numerous obscenities at people simply because their victim is a male with long hair, is a girl wearing a completely black ensemble, or wearing a t-shirt with the name of a rock band on.
Townies notoriously mispronounce words, dropping t’s and h’s. Thus “Harry” becomes “’Arry” and “Isn’t it” becomes “Innit”.
Another popular insult townies love to shout at men with long hair is “Get yer ‘air cut!” or simply “‘air cut!”
If someone should respond to an insult from a townie, the townies will respond with "Are you startin'?" (Translation - "Are you seeking physical altercation with us?"). This is truly bizarre as by shouting abuse in the first place, the townie was clearly "Startin'".
These and other insults are 99% of the time shouted from townies in gangs or from the open window of moving vehicles.
A townies' hatred of alternative music fans is similar to a Nazi, that being if you are not wearing the latest style and have the correct hair length for your gender then you are not one of them and have to be hated.
No townie has yet given a sensible, coherent, sane answer as to why they have this hatred of anyone who wants to exercise freedom and dress how they want. The most popular answer a townie will give is 'Because you got long 'air, innit!'
Townies are brave when in groups. Townies as young as nine years old have no problem swearing at and verbally abusing people 3 or even 4 times older than themselves. However, on their own a single townie will walk quickly past that very same person they attacked with their head bowed, falsely believing that everyone is as mindless and evil as they are and will gang up on them in retaliation. Goths and other alternates are mostly well educated and polite, yet another reason townies probably hate them; townies live in fear and dread of manners and education.
A townies hatred of Alternates is a primitive fear, bordering on an animals’ attack instinct to something it fears, .i.e “I am a dog, you scare me, I eat you”. Townies notoriously avoid school and education in favour roaming the streets in packs like wild dogs, preying on innocent people and attacking anyone not dressed like a townie.
The older generations of people in the UK are under the impression that these “clean, nicely-dressed youngsters” are the cream of society. Goths, punks, metal-heads, etc., however, are horrified to see a new generation of fascism whose ideals of totalitarianism and hatred of all people who dress and look different from themselves hasn't been seen since the likes of Adolf Hitler.
Alternates are seen as fair game. Even a pregnant mother was beaten up just for wearing black lace clothes and black lipstick. Townies will think nothing of verbally and physically attacking females as well as males, following them and calling them names, trying to trip them up and even going as far as slapping and punching, calling said Goth girl a prostitute, among other insults. This is a paradox as female townies dress like prostitutes from 70’s/80’s cop shows when they go out at weekends or to go shopping.
Culture-wise, townies avoid books. Reading consists of magazines (make up and latest fashion for females, cars and music sound systems for males). As far as films go, anything too intelligent (e.g. The Da Vinci Code, Bladerunner, Dune, The Shawshank Redemption) is “crap” in their eyes. The best example of this is Sin City; townies say “It’s shit, innit!” because it’s black and white. PLEASE NOTE – human fans of the following films should not be insulted, as they are seen as chewing gum for the brain by normal people but riveting by townies. Good films for townies are Romeo Must Die, The Fat Slags, Jason Vs. Freddy, etc. Music with too many lyrics is avoided, and anything that involves the artist/band knowing how to play instruments like drums and guitars is despised. Good townie music is anything repetitious with low lyric content.
A typical day for a townie is: wake up, smoke a spliff, avoid school (if of a school-attending age), wander aimlessly around town, shout abuse at anyone who isn't wearing the correct New Nazi uniform (tracksuit or designer jeans and shirt/t-shirt. NO long hair if male), vandalize public and/or private property, buy cheap cider/vodka and cigarettes or get someone to buy for them if the townies are too young to be served, breed (no matter what age they are), smoke a spliff, sleep.
It is a growing concern amongst the intelligent members of society that townies could end up making the UK as a whole a slum, their bad attitude and fascism making the country unpopular with normal humans, domestic and foreign. Fortunately, townies are rarely seen giving abuse in large cities due to the cosmopolitan nature of such metropolises. You’d never hear a townie shout “Grebo!” in Camden Town, London, England.
Townies are brave enough to shout insults at alternates in the streets, but would never have the courage to do so in a bar/nightclub frequented by alternates, e.g. Rock City in Nottingham, England.
In the original version of Dawn Of The Dead (1978), on the DVD commentary the make up artist/special effects expert tried describing Red Necks to the British audience and said 'I don't think Britain has a class of people that low!' Unfortunately, it does...
Townies hate Goths, punks, etc. because they look different to townies. Alternates hate townies because townies are fascist Nazis and believe that everyone should be allowed to live their lives without fearing attack...just for wearing black.
"My sister's boyfriend was attacked and beaten by townies because he has long hair."
"Tonight's gonna be great, innit! Get drunk, go to the club, start a fight..."
"Let's smash the windows on the bus shelter!"
"Why did I smash up that phone booth? Coz I was bored, innit!"
"Why shouldn' I throw stones at that bitch? She's a goff!"
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One who hangs around town. Formerly recognisible by their shell suit (Circa: 1989), now can be seen with baseball stretchfit cap on backwards/forwards, but to the side slightly and (Inexplicably) one trouser leg rolled to the knee with a sports sock pulled half way up the shin of the same leg. Normally has an IQ not outsizing their own shoe size, the towny travels in packs of at least five, displaying hostile behaviour to whoever does not coform to their rather narrow view of what is 'it' today. This can become particularly hostile if the individual in question may be wearing a band T shirt or is the owner of a pony tail and/or several peircings. Towny's are also noted for their unique method of speech, preferring to use such words as 'Innit' and 'Bad' (Meaning good!!??). They often decorate their bodies, in the form of really cheap and nasty looking tattoos (Known in the tattoo industry as 'scratches.') with the emblems of their favourite football clubs, their girlfriends names (Spelt wrongly.) or a bulldog.
Those guys are townys. Oh shit, there ten of them and seem irritated with me because I seem to be breathing with my eyes apparently open.
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Were to start... Well, townies (chavs, twats, neds in scotland. I also hear they are called trevs in bristol.) They wear tracksuits all the time, often wear gloves as they may be called to rob a house or mug an old woman. They wear that damn burberry pattern all the time (Shirts, hats. It wouldn't suprise me if they had burberry underwear...) They smoke to look hard, only to look hard (Well, i smoke but it's because its one thing that calms me down after run-ins with the scum.) They love to start on normal people, goths and moshers, well basicly everyone. They drive around in 1.1 Vauxhall novas or fiestas with added body kits to make it look like the sports version, which they can't afford on the dole or by mugging old ladies. I think we should start taking back our world from these burberry wearing sheep.
What do you do if you see a townie with half a face? Stop laughing and reload the shotgun
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(American definition, noun) Derogatory slang term that generally refers to someone who lives locally to a town, usually uttered by someone who does not. The implication is that the outside party is superior to the local populace, who are seen as inferior because of the negative stigma attached to the local environment they live in.
Most commonly used in rural college towns, where a large cultural gap exists between the students that attend and the local populace that simply happen to live there.
Townie can also be used as an adjective in the expected ways (A bar that is popular with the locals, for example, could be referred to as a "townie bar").
"I had some townie try to start a fight with me at the bar last night. I'm getting sick of these redneck locals..."
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