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Townies are, to put it simply - Sheep. The follow whatever trends are in fashion, for about 3 weeks, then go onto the next thing, they are very noticeable:
The males wear dodgy cheap tracksuits and sports clothes, usually bought from JJB. They wear baseball caps with the peaks pointing straight up, and they usually have their trouser legs tucked into their socks, perhaps for some sort of primitive enjoyment.
The Female townies wear tops that- well I should say tops, but really they wear a piece of fabric that barely covers their nipples! They can usually be seen showing off to the males by removing their bra without taking their shirts off - which to me seems very pointless.
Townies usually listen to music by slutty women who don't have real talent but wear revealing clothes so the males stay interested and the females take notes on how to dress wrongly. They also listen to music by so-called "gangstaz" - men who would be shot within a second if they actually put one foot in the ghetto. The music is usually about drugs, sex and alcohol, as those seem to be the only things that stimulate the small townie mind.
As far as personality goes, townies are practially the same. They will all tell you that they lost their virginity at the age of 11 or 12 or some other stupid age, when in actual fact they have never seen the opposite sex's genitalia anywhere other than porn and sex-ed videos! They will all sit on street corners, drinking cheap beer that they coaxed the older townies into buying for them, and smoking 10-20 cigarettes a day. These activites make townies think they are really "cool" and probably give them the feeling that they are grown-ups, when in actual fact they are just immature slobs. They will mess around in school, disrupting lessons, etc, which reflects on their school achievements - which are usually nothing but sports-related activities.
If you are not one of them and you approcach a group of townies, don't be alarmed if they shout abuse at you and offer to fight you. The lead townie will shout the most abuse, whilst slowly backing away to hide behind the larger, quieter ones. If this happens, just keep walking - most of the time they will keep shotuing "come on then if you're startin'!" whilst still not coming any closer to you.
Townies naturally don't understand certain groups of people - Nice people, old people, punks, skaters and mainly Grebs
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A townie is an arrogant piece of shit who normally walks around town centres. Other words for them are chav,towny and general piece of crap.
Female townies are usually known as hoes or bitches and are usually sluts. They also carry lots of infections that the decent people in the world punks, skaters, greebos should stay well clear of.
The male species normally fink they are "solid" and av lots of "respec'" thats respect spelt badly. Their clothes are normally bought from the local market and although they have names on these are often Borberry (cheap burberry) badidas 9 adidas rip-offs) and often Nice (If you squint it looks like Nike)
Lots of them claim they "boned their hoes" when they were 5 but have of ten neva come into contact id someone of the opposite sex except for when buying cheap alcahol at Threshers.
Rachel Bissel, leader of Townies UK.
Send abuse to 07837725389.
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A retard who wears awfully passe, tacky clothing, and tasteless "expensive" jewellery. This breed of retard thinks they are at the height of fashion, and that they are "dock hard". Starts fights with everyone of a similar age group, drinks cheap cider and smokes L&B and Roll ups. All female townies have lost their virginity at the age of 12, and they have had at least 3 abortions or kids by the age of 22, and normally has a kid by the age of 16. Townies think they are the most popular people at school, but most people try to avoid them like the plague.
I always think that Girls Aloud and Atomic Kitten are townies... with stylists.
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The term used to define people living in a low populated rural or country town. They are similar to carnies, but have a hatred for outsiders who may be traveling into their town, or just passing through.
"We'd better get out of here before the townies get their pitch forks and start after us. "
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urk. ppl who wear tracksuits (evry day) an tops dat say "BOSTON" who knows y. they hang round shopping centres, not buying n e thing apart from a big mac. girl townies ave fake louie vuiton bags that r the size of ur hand. sum of them have dummies, hung round their necks on string (in amongst the keys and phone also hangind there), probably for their 3 children. boy townies have fake burbery caps pointin to da sun (although they mostly come out at night, like wearwolves), so therefor there is no point of them.they ride little bikes, so their knees touch their chin.they think theyre "wicked man init" but "naaarrrrrrr mannnnn dey aint init"
townie 1 : so like wat dya wanna do?
townie 2 : u startin on me? u startin?????? u want some BEEF?
townie 1 : oooooo u wan some beef i givin ya some BEEF"!!!!!!
passer-by : do you think he is offering that boy a burger?
townie 1 and 2 : ya startin on me????? i bash ya up maaannnnn !
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Townies r losers
they can be classed as toiletpaper cos i wud relli like 2 wipe mi ass with them ,filthy pikey pricks...
Townie: come on then u crusty beetch!
Grunger: u talkin 2 me?
Townie: yeh man! i cud ave u anyday!
Grunger: relli, well den come over ere and gimmie wut u got fucker
*townie walks over and throws punch at grunger which hits him in the mouth*
Grunger: oh im sorri, have u started?
Townie: yeh man i can see u cryin!
Grunger: cryin? wut the fuck?
*grunger, in a flash of lightning, smashes fist into townies face*
Townie: i'm gonna get mi mum on u!
*townie runs away crying*
AHHH....HEAVEN...
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In America, a townie is a person who has lived in a small town for his or her entire life. Often proud of that fact, townies take great interest in every detail of change in their home turf. Notable characteristics include: making fun of places they've never been (and probably will never go), remembering what used to be where that new building is, and getting fat after high school.
Townie: "Things haven't been the same around here since they built that hotel where the old hardware store used to be."
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