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The lowest common denominator.
chavosity is a disease, taking spinless hosts and uniting them with a shared consiousness.
Chavs number in groups ranging from 1 to 10 kids and adults, wearing failing brand names such as "nickelson" mckenzie and fake burberry.
each chav sports an idiosyncratic personality and a severe inferiority complex, as well as many insecurities shrouded beneath their cocked baseball caps.
their language is sub english and they tend to pronounce words with syllablles missing such as 'wi'ed' (wicked) or 'orrite' (alright)
Generally of a hostile nature they tend to fight in groups or call their big brothers in when the odds outweigh theirs.
also reffered to as townies or neds depending on the region in which you live (or how far the virus has spread)
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Also known as homo inferior mushtus. The latest evolution of the common Rat.
Generally a pack animal, chavs are only to be found alone when serving "blackup" duty for a fight or theft. Otherwise there will be at least five of them, ranging in ages from 8-24.At least half of them will be related in some way, leading one to presume that the chav culture encourages inbreeding. This pack is not to be underestimated, as if angered it is quite capable of taking down a stunned 3 year old, if it has the element of surprise.
Standard attire has already been mentioned multiple times in these definitions, so I do not believe I need to elaborate there.
Years of self-enforced isolation from the rest of the cultured world has lead to the chav race developing it's own primitive culture. In this ideology, tacky "celebrity" icons are awarded the same devotion as demi-gods, when there only claim to fame is either through making an appalling R&B track, posing naked for newspapers, or appearing on a dubious reality TV show such as big brother.
The pack leader of a group of chavs can easily be recognised: usually the oldest, he (chavs are patriachal) will always be smoking a 2-week old fag, will be so laden with fake gold "bling" that he will barely be able to walk, and will be wearing the most realistic looking fake sports gear. The Head Chavs word is law in such a pack, though sometimes there are contests for leadership.
Such contests are highly ritualised. They will inevitably start with a slur on the head chavs parentage. The head chav will then reply "you wot mush?" or something similar, and will walk threateningly towards the other chav, indicating that the challenge is accepted. The two chavs will stand together, looking straight into each others face, trying to use sheer body mass to push the other one down. Eventually, one chav will have to use his arms to force the other one back, to avoid being overpowered. Insults will continue up untill this stage. Once the pushing back stage has occured, overall victory will be granted to the chav who can "nut" the other one quickest. Such contests of strength are very common.
The chav language is a crue facsimile of the English dialect of the region they inhabit. The words have been twisted beyond all recognition, and often used to mean the complete opposite of what they used to mean. For example, chavvettes are often refered to as "fit" by male chavs, when they appear to have all the sex appeal of a dead haddock. Expletives, "innit", "like", and "yeah" are used instead of commas, full stops and other punctuation marks in the chav speech.
The government debates over this problem nearly every day, but so far no action has been taken. They can't decide whether to use Napalm, Nukes, flamethrowers, or just give each human citizen a shotgun and tell them "happy hunting".
Chav translator guide:
"You wot mush? Fuckin' bang you out!"
Means: "I believe that you have inadvertly insulted me. I am likely to take offence over this slur."
"And wot, you batty, wot you gonna fuckin' do abowt it?"
Means: I cannot think of something to say at this moment in time. Please wait untill my brain cell has aligned itself correctly and we may be able to talk.
"Oi, mate, you gorra lite?"
Means: I have accidently forgotten my cheap, inefficient lighter or packet of cut-price matches. Please can you help me, despite the fact I am 4 years to young to smoke.
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1) Person who does not believe in banks (as such, retains funds as gold plated jewellery)
2) Someone who believes they can go out about their everyday business wearing head-to-toe white without getting it dirty.
3) Someone who believes they are capable of assaulting others. (one who is mislead).
4) Someone who pretends to take drugs, but in fact cannot afford such a habit.
5) Someone who feels strongly against the artistic talents of the real world, and so create their own, self contained culture.
That chav is a monkey. (or) That chav belongs in a zoo.
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Twats,
They enjoy partaking in antisocial behavior,
They enjoy white lightening
They tuck their tracksuits into their socks to save money if they become ankle swingers,
They are more hated than any other social group in the UK
Lets stand on a street corner and drink white lightening while shouting abuse at some old lady through a stolen traffic cone
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a person that wears clothes that look like pajamas every day of the week until the dirt intergrates its self in to the material(im mean gross). they normaly live in council estates. chavs will never pick a fight unless they outnumber that person 5 to 1. most chavs wear burberry (a realy shit checked pattern) which looks crap. the only thing worse than burberry is fake burberry which is for those chavs to cheap to buy the real thing!chavs are totally unreasonable. avoid chavs at all cost if you do encounter a chav on his own u will fine as at the sight of you he will have craped him self but be warned if you meet a group of chavs you will be challenge the best thing to do in this situation is to punch the one that challenges you his "mates" shall then shit them selves and run away.
chavs will shorten words like "isnt it" to "n it" and "brother" to "bruv"
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Ahh chavs...
Well, i believe that chavs are a bit like toilet paper...full of shit! So most people hate townies, chavs, kevs (numerous names for them) and so do i. They have no respect for any human being, property or laws at all. Basically they suck. They suck heaving great ballS! They uses phrases such as "u got 'ne fags bruv?" and "you beefin me boys??" etc. Basically they're complete toss pots...my the lord rid the world of these vile beings once and for all!
"Innit bruv innit, look at dose grungies ova der innint. les go beef um up!"
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