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Similar to Beer Goggles, but Ada Goggles are experienced while sober. Ada goggles derived their name from Ada, Ohio, the location of Ohio Northern University. Males at ONU often fall victim to these early in the spring quarter of their freshmen year. Girls who, at the beginning of the year, were only in the "ugly" to "slightly cute" range suddenly begin to look sexy. Experts have determined that this is due to an insufficient number of attractive females located on campus. There is no exact way to determine the extent of the repercussions of this phenomenon. Most women will score 2 entire points higher on the rating system when being judged by a male "wearing" Ada Goggles (and that's even after the freshman 15).
By sophomore year, you know you have them. They start to appear in the late part of winter quarter, and last longer into the summer.
By Junior year, you're praying every night for God to send an attractive female class for your final year.
Ada Goggles can be dangerous if not removed by the affected male early in the summer after returning home. Rumor has it that a pharmacy student had to be hospitalized after his younger brothers 16th birthday pool party. After realizing that his brother found 4 high school juniors that were more attractive than any female at his college, he got an erection that lasted for more than 4 hours.
Ada goggles that are worn in combination with beer goggles can prove fatal for your rep with your friends.
Other symptoms victims have shown include:
hogging
excessive masturbation (3+ times a day)
hitting on females from ada high school
hitting on cafeteria workers (but not breakfast lady)
calling the "crazy ex" from home
begging the "crazy ex" from home to visit
hooking up with high school chicks
hooking up with local married chicks (ok the divorce was almost final)
excessively repeating the phrase "fat chicks need lovin too".
realizing that the DUFF you're hitting on has an uglier DUFF, and you'd bang them both
Mike-Hey Jeff, do u remember that amanda chick?
Jeff-Yeah the one who looks like she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down?
Mike- Yeah i fucked her last night... sober. Is it me or is she hotter than my first impression of her?
Jeff- Ada Goggles...
Mike-Dude, every time I'm out at the bars with my friends from home, I have to text them to see if the girl I'm hitting on is actually hot.
Jeff- Man, that's nothing. I tried to fuck chick last night who looked like wilford brimley. I only failed because she was a lesbian.
Mike- We gotta lose these Ada Goggles when we're home!
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The visual distortion occurring after working long hours in an all male environment. Makes every female appear attractive regardless of their actual appearance. Similar to beer goggles, but without the alcohol. Typically worn by an Investment Banker.
Banker: Bro, check your nine; that girl is smokin'
True Friend: Calm down brah, you're just wearing the Goldman Goggles
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Proctor Goggles is something you attain while spending long periods of time at Proctor Academy. Due to the fact that there are very few attractive proctor students so ugly students become decent, decent students become hot, and hot students become goddesses. It is very inconvenient especially after leaving the campus because people you would normally find ugly are good looking and the good looking ones grab your attention too an amount that is unnecessary.
Nick- "Dude that chick is so hot."
Connor- "I dont know what your talking about bro, she is hideous, i think you've still got proctor goggles on."
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When you just broke up with your guy/girl and your feeling desperate. Every person of the opposite sex looks hot to you. Face it, you're feeling desperate.
"Damn fool, my girl just broke up with me and I got a mad case of rebound goggles! I'm dating this 300 pound fat bitch!"
"I must have been wearing my rebound goggles. I can't believe I hooked up with my cousin!"
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When working on a campaign, you start becoming attracted to other staffers that you would not normally find attractive.
Normally, I wouldn't have touched her, but I got a case of campaign goggles and ended up hooking up with her.
The unexplained phenomenon in which one skype user perceives the other skype user to be more attractive than they truly are. This can be largely attributed to the low quality of the video feed. This is similar to beer goggles.
Yo, dude must have skype goggles on because that girl isn't that attractive.
Mount Goggles - Mount goggles are the invsible, make believe, goggles that all of the guys at Mount Saint Mary's University must acquire in order to withstand the appearance of the women at school when going out to a party. They have the power to make a "3" (Out of 10) look like an "8" and a "5" be a perfect "!0". The are necessary for use at all times of night in order to survive the war zone full of grenades and land mines.
Good thing everyone else had on their mount goggles to last night because I took them off this morning and couldn't have been more embarrassed.