Microsoft Points

The currency created by Microsoft for when they take over the world.

"Hey you can't use those Euro's in here!"
"Huh?"
"We only accept Microsoft Points!"

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Microsoft time

A length of time that changes randomly like the time remaining counter on a computer running windows when you are downloading a file or migrating data. Referring to the tendency of that counter to read something like "time remaining: 27 minutes" then "time remaining: 29 minutes" then "time remaining: 28 minutes" then "time remaining: 15 minutes" then "time remaining: 31 minutes."

"When will you be done with that game?"

"Ten minutes."

"Is that in real time or Microsoft time?"

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microsoft edge

Internet Explorer 12, except Microsoft doesn't want you knowing that.

I use Microsoft Edge to download other browsers, just like Internet Explorer.

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microsoft edge

Congratulations Microsoft. You made a new browser that downloads firefox twice as fast as Internet explorer

That's quite an accomplishment right there. Microsoft edge really is internet explorer 12.

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Microsoft Bob

Bob has to be one of the worst Operating Systems ever. Actually, I don't think it is an OS. But, it's so terrible, you just got to laugh at it. On top of that, Microsoft fails to recognize this as one of their own products!

1: Did Vista get crappier?
2: No, it's Microsoft Bob.

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Microsoft minute

A unit of time whose literal length is constantly changing due to rapid miscalculations of a computer wielding an operating system developed by Microsoft (i.e. Windows 95).

"Say, Benny! How long is it gonna take for this program to install?"
"Well Garrison, it says here just 3 more Microsoft minutes. You never know with those Microsoft minutes, though. It could be another six hours... but if we're lucky it'll only last one!"

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microsoft access

An absolutly evil database programme, which serves no purpose other than driving you clinically insane at a remarkably quick pace.

Never used in the workplace, so it's ppointless to be taught how to use it in GCSE or A-Level IT.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK!!! Why won't it recognise this goddamn formula like a normal person?!?"

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