Rural Dictionary

Mount Olive

Quite possibly one of the shittiest places on Earth.
Here's a nice breakdown of the township.
Mount Olive is made up of two main towns, Flanders and Budd Lake. On top of that, some of the unfortunate kids that live in the forgotten neighborhood at the bottom of the Hackettstown mountain and some of the Chester kids are also considered Mount Olive for some reason that nobody can figure out.
Budd Lake, the actual lake itself, is a sewage ditch. Seriously, the fucking sewage from the houses leaks into the lake, so don't go swimming without expecting to come out green. In past years, there have been cars, bodies, dead animals, and fuck knows what else in that shithole they call a lake. The "beach" is basically a strip of garbage and imported sand, and is the number one "vacation" destination for desperate kids over the summer.
There are about 50thousand fucking elementary schools, and the one I went to, was fucking terrible. Sandshore elementary school, aka prison, is a great place to go if you like emotional abuse. If you get a teacher that is slightly less bitchy than a Nazi, consider yourself the most lucky fucker in the entire school. The students endure abuse such as being screamed at for missing a single homework assignment, being ridiculed for not singing loud enough in music, and being treated like inmates by the bitchy lunch aids. I remember being forced to stand in 2 perfectly straight lines before recess and having to shut the fuck up or my part of the line would miss half of recess. If you're caught speaking, within seconds you're guaranteed to have some fat asshole's double chin wagging in your face as she screams and spits all over you. In addition to that, they make all the students wash the tables with rags that are literally falling apart and the dirtiest water you'll ever see, and all the chairs must be placed on the lunch tables with precision or you'll get mentally abused and stalked for the rest of the year to make sure you don't fuck up again. Every morning, the children have to sing a few songs including the school song, the star spangled banner, yankee doodle and a bunch of other bullshit like the alphabet song in spanish.
The middle school is yet another prison. The pregnancy rates among the 6th graders are absolutely disgusting and about 90% of the school population has sucked dick or fucked at least once by the time they move on to the high school.
Simply because they're the oldest kids in the school, the 8th graders think they're hot shit, and that attitude actually caries into the high school, which is the reason why EVERYONE hates the freshman. The freshman from the 07-08 school year were the absolute worst as a whole, where as this year, they're better as a whole, but worse as individuals. There's a midget wannabe scene chick with a locker near me that likes to talk shit about everything that moves. In addition, one of her retarded freshman friends is pregnant and likes to broadcast it to the entire school. "AND I WAS LIKE, OH MY GOD IT'S NOT MY FAULT I'M PREGNANT!!!! HAHAHAHA!!! LIFE IS GONNA BE SO GREAT WHEN THE BABY COMES!!!!! IT'LL BE PERFEEEECT!!!" They try to demand things of those that are above them even though they don't even have the slightest clue where their classrooms are. It takes them about a year to figure out that the reason all the 100 rooms are on the first floor, and all the 200 rooms are on the 2nd floor, etc, is because they start with their floor number. The junior class acts like its the senior class and the senior class does nothing but sit around all day because they know they're going to end up in CCM anyway.
The principal is quite possibly the biggest idiot any of the students have every seen and he must be def, because every time he shows up at an assembly or pep rally, the entire student body boo's at him and throws shit, and yet he still continues to make his bombastic and long-winded speeches every morning.
The school spent millions of dollars and hiked up the taxes to astronomical proportions to "renovate" the school, adding a giant and unimportant lobby, a bigger caf and a new auditorium. Everything else is still in the same shitty condition that it's been in for years and there's still a massive shortage of text books and school supplies. At one point, there wasn't even functioning heat in the basement and the classes had to be relocated to the caf when the temperature got much below 50 degrees. All the money was put into those 3 areas simply because they're the only areas the parents and important figures ever see. They've got an effective facade up to make the school seem satisfactory.
The teachers have the second lowest salaries here than in any other part of our county, so all the shitty teachers are still here and all the good teachers have been given jobs elsewhere. However, there's still hope, as some of the awesome teachers have settled for the shitty pay and awful teaching conditions.
Nobody has anything better to do in Mount Olive than do drugs, drink, smoke and hang out at Dunkin Donuts. Without even searching out places to buy drugs, the average student will know at least 3 or 4 places to buy pot, e, and any other drug you can possibly think of. The freshman pride themselves on the fact that they drink and like to put things on their myspace like, "yeah, i drink, what are you gonna do about it?!!111?!!!!!!one!!eleven!!!1!!" because they think it makes them badass.
Half the township thinks they're the most ghetto bastards to walk the fuckin earth, and the other half is made of emo and scene wannabees and the snobby bastards that like to think they're rich just because their mommy and daddy drive themselves into a financial hole by buying them 150 dollar hoodies, 300 dollar diamond necklaces and 300 dollar pairs of Uggs. Those specific people switch from preppy to goth to scene to skater as they see fit (whichever one they think makes them hotter at that moment in time), like to showcase their c-cup (actually a b-cup but don't tell them that, they might implode) mono-tits, jiggling stomachs, fried hair, flabby asses, thongs and they spend half their time naked on webcam with strangers from out of state and the other half of their time hanging out on the railroad tracks and sending nudes to their myspace boyfriends.
You're only liked if you're hot or easy, the rest of the kids can just go jump off a cliff because nobody is gonna like them even if they're the nicest bastards on Earth.
As if the rate of retarded crimes wasn't high enough, they're moving homeless solutions into the forgotten neighborhood at the bottom of the mountain by using a loophole that allows them to place it in an area right at the outskirts of the neighborhood that's considered Washington. And because nobody that lives around that spot is considered Washington and rather Hackettstown, they can't do a damn thing. You can't walk 100 ft down the road without seeing at least 5 for sale signs because nobody wants to be around when they move the just out of jail and rehab hobos into the apartments they're building. You better get your guns kids, the rapists are coming to town. Others will see it as a great opportunity to buy MORE drugs than they already do.
In short, stay the fuck away from Mount Olive.

Typical Mount Olive skank: YEAH, AND LAST NIGHT I HAD A 4-WAY WITH THE BIGGEST DRUG DEALERS IN TOWN! IT WAS GREAT, WE WENT FOR AN HOUR STRAIGHT AND I THINK I MIGHT BE PREGNANT, BUT THAT'S OKAY, I'LL HAVE A PERFECT LIFE WHEN THE BABY COMES. AND YEAH, I DRINK, SO WHAT?! YOU WANNA FIGHT? COME ON BITCH, I'LL SLAP YOU! I'LL SLAP YOUUUU!!!!!
One of the few sensible humans in Mt Olive: Get the fuck out of my face you dirty whore before I kick your fucking ass like your daddy should have a long fucking time ago.

by i Seriouly hate you, Bitch November 26, 2008

276👍 134👎

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