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a sad woman who is trapped on a hamster wheel of endless running and running and running. (insert coffee chugging here) Her life revolves around her children's social schedule and her own existance is defined by it. Although the SUV is the surest indicator of her membership in this exclusive club, the latest identifier would have to be her multi-colored, quilted, flowery, overpriced, overstuffed purse that can double as a seat cushion for the bleachers of the soccer/baseball games. Usual habbitats, huge bargain warehouse stores, fast food lines, character themed pizza joints, and athletic fields. I was raised by one, and i will most likely (sadly) turn into one. The difference will be the censorship/racist/independence issues. Whether one is a Jewish soccer mom or christian or muslim....open mindedness is key. you know in your hearts that a 5 year old doesn't need to hear the word "fuck" all day long, he can do that when he's 15, but he should definately hear good ass music, and that shit should start in the womb. i know you all are young...and angry (mostly due to being cut off in traffic A LOT,) but when you have your own kids....you'll protect them from all of those fucking soccer mom's the same way they protect their kids from you.
day after day the soccer moms open thier eyes to begin another day of the exact copy of yesterday. coffee, turn on the Today show, drive kids to school, run over several small VW golfs, errands, sniff cocaine, pick up kids from school, stop at starbucks, take kids to soccer practice, go through drive thru, tuck kids into bed, masterbate and repeat daily until kids go to college.
38👍 10👎
Typically middle-class or upper middle class, white mothers that live in nice houses in the suburbs. Almost always a superficial christian of 30-45 years of age. Often proud, and super-dominant, because their husbands are successful.
Yet also tormented inside, because they know they're worthless and their lives are meaningless.
Has perfect, wonderful children that must be protected from everything that isn't christian, middle class and suburban.
She drives her children and often other kids around in a huge-ass SUV, suburban or minivan. Bad driving skills, and turns into a rude fucking bitch when you complain about their dangerous SHIT driving.
These fucking bitches cannot stand anything that isn't G-rated. That means 99.999% of music, movies, videogames and the internet are OUT. These women are the downfall of society. They pretend to be perfect and have perfect fucking little brat children, but are often cheating on their busy husbands, commiting adultery with other men, seeking whatever they think they don't have, and therefore destroying other families.
Self absorbed CUNT.
The fucking cunt soccer mom I saw driving through at McDonalds, yelling at everyone in front of her to hurry up because her huge-ass FAT FUCK children were hungry.
38👍 10👎
A white middle-to-upper-middle class woman, generally aged 30-55. Has the requisite 2.3 kids. Usually the product of a loveless childhood and an equally loveless marriage as the trophy wife of an up-and-coming executive or professional. Motto is "my kids are my life". Refers to her kids as "my Precious Little Angels" (PLAs) or "God's Gifts to Me" (GGTMs), and believes the entire world exists just for the benefit of her PLAs. Terrified that child molesters are lurking behind every bush, and that gays are determined to "recruit" her PLAs. Obsessed with whatever is the latest "danger to kids" being promoted that week on Oprah or Dr. Phil or the latest Parenting Magazine. The Soccer Mom is constantly badgering school officials and politicians, promoting the latest "nanny law/regulation" to protect the GGTMs. Usually fundie or conserviative Christian with a cult-like obsession, and makes sure her PLAs participate in choir and church soccer camps (hence the term: "Soccer Mom"). Extremely controlling of the social life of the GGTMs, repressing all independent thought, and all signs of non-conformity. The GGTMs teen years are marked by Ritalin and trips to high priced child psychologists. The PLA daughter often grows up to be an XXX rated porn star, while the PLA son becomes a transvestite drummer in a punk rock band.
The Soccer Mom has been the artistic inspiraton for outstanding movies such as "Diary of a Mad Housewife" and "The Betty Broderick Story". Also classic songs such as "Harper Valley PTA".
28👍 6👎
Stupid,arogant whiny bitches like the person who wrote definition #87 who think they're brave because they can sware on teh web (If anyone corrects me 'cause they're stupid enough cunts to think that was supposed to read 'the web', I'll shoot them), even though they can't spell the word 'curse'.
Joe: Really? Some dumbass soccer mom missspelled 'curse'?
Bob: Yeah, dude.
Joe:TWICE?
Bob: YEAH
Joe: AH HA HA! WHAT A STUPID CUNT
29👍 7👎
Derogatory and insulting term for a female yuppie.
She drives a minivan or an SUV. While she drives, she watches movies on the DVD player. She holds a Starbucks Coffee and babbles on the cell phone while driving.
She has an attitude of entitlement, and is even more pushy than a New Yawwk Jew. She names her daughter Cassidy, Madison, Taylor, Bergman, or Sasquatch. She always votes for Hillary Clinton because she is wealthy enough to shield her income from taxes. If her name is Karen or Judy, she changes it to Taylor or some other masculine name.
Jackson is a soccer mom. Stay out of her way when she drives, and hang on to your wallet when she votes.
92👍 30👎
Retarded bitches who would protect their children from Video Games, Movies, Anime, Internet and just anything that contains the words hell or damn (I know these aren't swear words of course). They would yell at anybody who mentions anything about them. Even at a librarian who just lets someone know that none of that content is available (I'm glad I don't have such a overprotective mother).
Me: Excuse me but is there any manga here?
Librarian: Sorry. This library does not carry manga or anim...
Soccer Mom passing by: HEY! YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT STUFF AROUND MY KIDS!!!! OR I'M...
Librarian: SHHHHHH!!!!
Soccer Mom: *Who was dumb enough to think that the librarian was going to say the word "shit"* DON'T YOU SAY THAT KIND OF LANGUAGE!
Me: *takes soccer mom outside, 50 feet away from the library and casts Blazemost (a Dragon Warrior spell)* Silence is golden bitch!
103👍 36👎
A 25 to 45 year old woman, usually caucasian, who drives her "precious angels" around in a giant miny van. They censor anything fun such as gta and cod. Internet is what she calls "hell" because she's too stupid to teach them internet safety. Her children are a girl and a boy, both of whom got to some after school activity or another. They are usually dumb, slutty, and a bitch/asshole when they grow up. Her husband is some lawyer or a doctor who makes more more in a week than some people do in 3 months which is a crying shame. He is always on a "buisiness trip", fucking his secretary. The children can't see or hear ANYTHING BAD or they will grow up to be "poisened and scarred". I think they shelter them too much, they need a healthy dose of reality. And so do the parents.
I was sitting in the mall food court with my friend, talking about GTA SA and how I stole cars and killed people and stuff. The soccer mom was like, DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT IN FRONT OF MY KIDS, and I was like, it's just reality. You gotta accept it. Go some where else then.
Fucking stupid soccer mom
17👍 4👎