subjectively objective

When you pose a statement as an opinion, but you know it's absolutely a fact

Subject 1: We've been going to Five Guys all month, let's do Wendy's for once.
Subject 2: We can't, because Five Guys is the only correct option, but that's just my subjectively objective opinion.

Test Subject 37

Oh god no.... Not Test Subject 37...

Scientist: oh no, it can't be yo-you died you can't be here!
Test Subject 37: *walking noises*
Scientist: NOOOOOO!