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A day that usually falls the week after your boyfriend/girlfriend has broken up with you.
Mark: Yo man, what you doing for Valentine's Day next week?
Steve: Shut the fuck up man, my girl just broke up with me.
26👍 8👎
A very special day, during which those in love can reinstate their love for one another by buying chocolates, teddy bears, roses, and various other items that are related in one way or another to romance.
Singles reside at home, or brave the outside and cast sneers of contempt toward every gift shop and flower stall selling the aforementioned sappy crap.
Also the one day of the year which holds the record for the most attempted suicides.
All in all, a pretty shite day indeed.
"I love you"
"Prove it."
"I bought you all this chocolate"
"It'll make me get fat"
"Oh, well, never mind that, here. A rose. Happy Valentine's Day. Can we have sex now?"
46👍 17👎
In mafia slang, it is the day when executions are to be carried out.
See Saint Valentine's Day massacre for more. If it's on the UD use Google.
Some guy: It's Valentines day. I'm taking my wife to dinner.
Mafia guy: Tomorrow is the Valentines day. I have to buy more ammo.
43👍 16👎
an evil plot that the flower,candy, and card company came up with to screw people out of money and to ither depress people or make them happy beyond all natural reason
also to identify all them gold diggin bitches
its valentines day im gonna go kill myself now
omg omg its finally valentines day i bet he went to jared
muhahahaha them dumbass's fell for it again muahhahaa
damn she broke up wit me after valentines day that gold diggin bitch
46👍 18👎
Commercialistic, bullshit "holiday" created by big candy & flower companies which only serves to make single people feel even more lonely than they already are & people in relationships stressed out on what gifts to buy...as if buying someone some fucking candy on Feb 14th (of ALL 365 days of the year) REALLY makes such a GREAT statement of love. Fuck outta here...
Depression& suicide are also known to go up during this time of year.
"OMG! Why didn't you get me anything for Valentines Day??!
Bitch, I can buy you flowers & candy anyday. Stop being so damn commercial & materialistic."
541👍 286👎
The one day a year to make up for the other 364 that you were a complete asshole or bitch to your boyfriend or girlfriend.
Happy Valentines Day. Heres a card and some flowers. I'm too cheap to buy you roses because our relationship doesn't mean anything to me. I just think you're a good fuck and I'm trying to keep it that way. and then I'm going to find someone better and leave you. Oh and heres that chocolates so you feel better when that happens.
15👍 4👎
because love isn't quite complicated enough as it is.
used in an xkcd.com comic
Man, I don't know what to get my girlfriend for Valentine's Day. It's all just bullshit for the profit of card companies anyway.
38👍 16👎