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A moment of masturbation occurs when a person reaches orgasm after approximately 90 seconds of masturbation.
Person 1: damn bro you shat quite swiftly
Person2: that's because i didn't shit, i had a moment of masturbation
The event in which one individual endures a stomach ache while attempting to masturbate.
John: "I had a Poopy Fart Masturbation happen to me last night."
Andrew: "Tf?"
This is the plan you make when you have limited time to jerk it. Especially applicable when someone living with you may return at any moment, or could walk in on you. Its having the cursor over the x , having something to cover your junk quickly, having another tab to click to etc. How to cover up the fact you were j-ing off quickly if someone were to come in.
Bro my girl was supposed to be gone all day and she came back early and caught me beating my meat. I fucked up not having a masturbation escape plan.
The very essence of UBC Computer Science professors. Unfortunately this disorder passes onto its top students as well.
You need to pay each of the masturbation professors a total whopping sum of 1 million dollars per course per term as they masturbate on both the male and female instagram profiles of their students and talk incoherently in lectures just to pass time and disorient their prey.
Religious Masturbation.
Speaking about the supposed superiority of your religion, for the sole pleasure of listening to yourself and showing off to other members of that religion.
A religious leader preaching to the saved
Etymology: the religious counterpart to masturbation; i.e. a process that is very pleasurable but doesn’t accomplish anything in the end.
The preacher gave a nice example of religious masturbation; a preaching about conversion to the saved
something that does not exist like your dad
Joe "When is must masturbate may?"
Jeff "When your dad comes back."
Joe cries
When you and a partner agree not to masturbate until a certain date but they do it anyway and make you aware of them breaking the promise.
David: “Gonna beat my meat, gonna beat my meat”
Me: “David!! That’s masturbation betrayal!”