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The man who has always got yo couch. You walk in, and bam! he's already got yo couch. Just unfortunate, buddy. Don't ask him if he's also got yo crouch - he's got a wicked crouch. Very nasty to behold.
Person A: Oh jeez. Jerry's got yo couch again, Person B.
Person B: At least he ain't go my crouch-
Jerry: GOT YO CROUCH (crouches enthusiastically)
Person A: He got you, bro.
Person B: (stunned and speechless)
People who like to have sex with couches.
J.D. Vance is a couch humper.
Did you hear Trump made that fucking hypocrite couch humper his running mate? Yeah I hope he’s prepared himself for the MAGA mob to pull him up on a noose.
A couch guru is an individual who lives on your couch and provides nuggets of wisdom, advice, and the dankest weed hook-ups. The couch guru sustains themselves by consuming Mountain Dew, Doritos and porn. Example: the guy on the couch from Half Baked.
My couch guru hooked me up with a new water bong and advised me on how to fix my relationship with my father.
A person with no permanent residence, who appeals to the sympathy of people who do not want to see the person officially homeless and on the streets, but who refuses to take advice or work to change their situation, attitude or actions in any meaningful way. They move from couch to couch, (house to house) staying until they either wear out their welcome or the homeowners rules become to burdensome. Really onerous and over the line rules like "Clean up after yourself" or "If you can't contribute with $ right now, how about some housework?" or "Stop playing online games all day and Fbooking all day and look for a job!"
Man, I thought I could help John, but he is just a couch lounger!
How long you gonna let that couch lounger hang out at your crib eating your grub?
Is John still at your house? No that couch lounger split when I told him he had to wash dishes and do laundry for his rent! He called his uncle and whined to him about sleeping under a bridge and now he is lounging on his uncles couch!
A couch rotter is one whos anus is inexplicable attracted to the seat of our couch. only to be removed for the brief longing of treats, snack,s or excretion. sleep is usually on the couch. scientists have hypothesized that the attraction of the anus to the sofa is due to: lack of funds, marijuana in conjunction with television, technically any activity, however most couchrotters have shown little to no motivation for accomplishments outside their arm reach.
person 1: hey person 2, want to do literally anything in the whole world you could ever imagine ever?
person 2: nah person 1 I'm good here on my couch.
person 1: whatever couch rotter.
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