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orchard wanker

A person that HAS TO HAVE all their tech products branded Apple

Johnny is such an orchard wanker

by Icedevimon November 27, 2021


Wanker Tax

The various stealth taxes provided through Ebay to help stimulate the dwindling economy by increasing cashflow from innocent people's pockets to the coffers of fraudulent traders who profit from ridiculous P&P.

Yeah, I made a killing on Ebay the last year, loads of savings, but I've got to factor in $27 for Wanker Tax. Damn, seems to be going up each year!

I can't begrudge those incessant fraudulent scammers on Ebay - They're helping the economy.

by what_do_we-Know_about_partying December 13, 2011


haircut wanker

Someone whose entire personality is based on their haircut

Mate you’re such a haircut wanker, get a life

by Alex Akimbo May 5, 2018


TIP WANKER

Masterbating with the tip of your penis

Person1: haha you cum bucket
Person2:At least I'm not a tip wanker like you

by Vanilladindong April 24, 2016


Boneless Wanker

He's all boast, but no capability...

He talked about all the travel he'd done, and all his achievements, but he's just a boneless wanker...

by Zentas November 26, 2010


dryrobe wanker

The dryrobe wanker (DRW) title is attributed to an individual who dons a dryrobe to project an image that they might partake in water sport related hobbies such as open water swimming, triathlon or paddling boarding. The unfortunate reality is in the majority of cases these caped crusaders live in land locked counties miles from a significant body of open water, and are more likely to be perusing the weekly deals in middle of Lidl. The predominant use for these quilted changing robes are more often than not either childcare related, or walking for their dog in it's colour matched dryrobe jacket. DRW evangelists ensure they conform to the pre-requisite outfit of beanie hat, DR and Crocs (usually in sport mode), with the ultra committed sporting a Volkswagen T series van with Dryrobe seatcovers. The less overt DRW is likely to favour the urban camo design to fly under the radar in public.

"Look Shazney, there's a pair of pink crocs walking themselves into Lidl '"

"Holy shit Carmel, look closer, that's one of them dryrobe wanker in a camo cape, owners gone into full predator mode"

by Gordon is a moron December 2, 2024


Dry Robe Wanker

A person wearing a Dry Robe for something other than its intended use, such as on the school run, watching outdoor sport events, or shopping in Waitrose.

Usually associated but not limited to middle-class white British women.

“I love your new Dry Robe, Florence! Have you just been for a swim in the sea?”

“Oh gosh no, I’ve just dropped Harvey off for his Tennis lesson and now I’m off down to John Lewis

*mutters* “ok, Dry Robe Wanker”

by Smatch November 23, 2024