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To "Amish Masturbate" is to masturbate without the assistance of any modern technological advancements.
This means no screens, no porno, no vibrators, and no masturbatory aid of any kind.
Man, I've been watching too much porn lately. I think I'm going to exclusively Amish masturbate for a while.
An Urban Legend from colonial Southbend, Indiana about a Fisher man attending Fisher Town Hall meetings and parlor events to masturbate in public spaces. The townspeople banished him for ejaculating in the town’s lake. Legend has it, it you look too deeply into St. Joe’s river, the Fisher man stares back.
Frank: Do you that Greek story about that dude that fell in a lake or something?
Fred: Yeah, The Fisher Masturbator?
An Urban Legend from colonial Southbend, Indiana about a Fisher man attending Fisher Town Hall meetings and parlor events to masturbate in public spaces. The townspeople banished him for ejaculating in the town’s lake. Legend has it, it you look too deeply into St. Joe’s river, the Fisher man stares back.
Frank: Do you that Greek story about that dude that fell in a lake or something?
Fred: Yeah, The Fisher Masturbator?
A mosquito with very hairy private parts wanks to pictures of mosquito boobies.
Mhm Gurl. = Mosquito Hairy Masturbation | Growing Unlimited Red Lust
Guys on gay hookup sites who get off on the idea of man-on-man sex, but are afraid actually do it. Instead, they message guys and masturbate while "planning" a hookup (where, when, who's going to do what to whom). Once they get off, they disappear (either go offline or delete profile) only to re-appear a few days or weeks later to do it again.
"Had another masturb-planner message me on Grindr today. Disappeared after I told him I was totally into all the things he liked, I have a 10" dick and was free now"
A moment of masturbation occurs when a person reaches orgasm after approximately 90 seconds of masturbation.
Person 1: damn bro you shat quite swiftly
Person2: that's because i didn't shit, i had a moment of masturbation
The event in which one individual endures a stomach ache while attempting to masturbate.
John: "I had a Poopy Fart Masturbation happen to me last night."
Andrew: "Tf?"