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Definitely not Funny Valentine, but it's Benjamin Harrison.
23rd President of the United States of America: You thought I'm Funny Valentine but it was me, Benjamin Harrison.
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A deadpan, snarky response to an unbelievable series of events that is related to you by a friend or co-worker. Taken from the classic Lee/Kirby issue of THE AVENGERS where Captain America is found in the Arctic, having been frozen in a block of ice since the end of World War II.
After he is thawed out, Cap relates the following tale: "By some fantastic stroke of fate, I must have been frozen in an ice flow, and then found by some eskimos who thought I was a supernatural object. Then, all those years, being in a state of frozen suspended animation must've prevented me from aging."
The rational response to all that malarky? "We believe you, Captain America."
Frantic Guy: I'm sorry I'm late! I was riding my bike here & nearly got hit by a plane making an emergency landing! I freaked out & slammed into a fire hydrant, flying over the handlebars and right into the arms a visiting Sumo Wrestler!
You: We believe you, Captain America.
This is a rarer form of the more common douche bag. This subhuman species spends most of his time in the guise of a slacker. However, when provoked by moderate levels of conflict or confrontation he immediately enters a state of heightened douchiness. Unlike the more common douche bag, he completely overreacts in response to a situation and is blindly driven by his own social impotence. His unusually extreme reaction will often manifest as either violence or behavior similar to that of an individual with a severe mental illness, such as schizophrenia.
As a general warning:
In recent studies it has been shown than the onset of this condition tends to begin in males in their mid thirties. If you suspect that a male in your life has already begun this transformation, it is recommended that you distance yourself from him at once. Keep in mind that this level of douchiness increases tenfold every year that it remains untreated.
To America's Most Wanted Douche Bag:
You know who you are. It is never too late to ask for help. But do not ask the people you have wronged. They have put up with you long enough.
Something you say when you need to Make America Great Again but you're too high on tylenol and you type too fast and you make it Greta instead.
"Back in my day men would armwrestle appalachian bears to the death. Now they're gender study professors or something. MAKE AMERICA GRETA AGAIN!"
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I'm doing this to annoy Americans
United States of North America. A way of annoying Americans, noun
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can only be achieved when a minor male student has a steamy affair with 1 or more female teachers who are really hot then this affair goes public and into the media and then all over the news.
luckiest boy in america metal being that a minor has had sexual relations with a woman much older then him who must be hot
in my opinion this "metal" can only be achieved when the male student is a minor(being under 18) and in junior high or highschool. college doesnt really count cause there its the adult world
man!, i wish i could have won a luckiest boy in america metal!!
too bad i already graduated highschool and im over 18
WHERE THE FUCK WERE ALL THIS SEX CRAZED TEACHERS WHEN I WAS IN SCHOOL!!!!!
read a manga called teacher and student its about a boy who lives with his teacher and they fuck but this would be called luckiest boy in japan metal
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The eventual formation of a republic where all the decisions for the world's welfare are made by Washington with Little Britain tagging along
The United Kingdom of America and Little Britain is the greatest country in the world. Ever!!!
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