First rate cunt lapper

This is from an eikaiwa lesson video of a faux-geisha teaching Japanese women how to talk dirrrty in English. (Eikaiwa means English conversation by the way)

I wonder how many women actually used these lines, and how many befuddled men lost wood after hearing that they’re a first rate cunt lapper in broken English. “Come on Toshi! Come on!”

Oh Toshi you are a first rate cunt lapper!

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babys first icecream Sunday

When you're banging a pregnant girl on Sunday and finish inside giving the baby a white treat for the first time

Man I'm going to hell for giving a girl a babys first icecream Sunday

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Hunter's First Law of the Internet

Within 10 minutes of any online forum exchange, some twat will always write "Don't feed the troll".

The twat in question is always either:

1) Some silly old turd who has been using the Internet since 1993 and thinks there are still only about 12 people on it.

2) Some clueless middle-class mum with too much time on her hands and to whom everyone else in the world (apart from her children, Jake and Florence) is a "troll".

SeanHunter: "I think the constant rolling news format of the TV media tends to turn serious cases like the McCann kidnapping or the Venables prison recall into circuses...."

Twat: "Don't feed the troll, people"

SeanHunter: "Ah there it is... Hunter's First Law of the Internet. And in record time, you twat."

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Sounds like my first time

An even more versatile version of "That's what she said". Used to draw attention to a non-sexual phrase that could be interpreted sexually. Can be used by both males and females to refer to a variety of situations.

"Man, I don't think it'll fit in there."
"Sounds like my first time."

"I was so sweaty aftwerwards."
"Sounds like my first time!"

"How am I supposed to put this thing on?"
"SOUNDS LIKE MY FIRST TIME!"

"So then my mom came in and spanked me."
"Sounds like my first ti- Oh."

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Just like my first time

A more sustainable alternative to "that's what she said" that first came into usage in the fall of 2010 in New York City.

Uttara: This belongs to Maggie's friend! Don't mess with her, you're entering a world of pain!
Faraz: Just like my first time...

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Threw out the first pitch

Jerking your dong in the bathroom of a stadium

I threw out the first pitch at Yankee stadium right on my hotdog

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pre-felonated first name

usually an afro-centric first name destined to turn a young woman or man into a convicted felon. It's destined at birth that once given a name such as "DiAmante', DaQuill, DeShawn,DeQuan, Rafique etc that the person will grow up into a burden to society.

DeShawn's mother had difficult time remembering whose father was paternal to which child so she decided for DeShawn to name him "of Shawn' fro the latin "de" so she could get the poo-poo to arrest any of the baby fathers who don't pay. Thus poor little DeShawn has a pre-felonated first name. Like daddy is a no good criminal thus son is pre-felonated to follow in his foot steps.

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