Random
Source Code

Masturbation friend

Because you don't masturbate with normal friends... that would be weird

Yesterday I had a great evening with my masturbation friends

by Jonhspyro December 22, 2019


whiteboard masturbation

A term sometimes used in certain software engineering circles to refer to the excessive use of things like object-oriented programming, specifically its principle of abstraction, to create highly abstract, polymorphic, incomprehensible and unnecessarily complex systems within software instead of keeping things simple.

This is usually practiced by "engineers" who value the "design" of software more than actually delivering value
to the software's users and/or believe that writing software is akin to designing a car or a building. Buildings, for example, cannot easily be torn down again if some part was constructed incorrectly or contains an error, whereas most software can.

While some may argue that it's prudent to keep one's code "clean" or "extendible" and whatnot, excessive abstraction can have the exact opposite effect: You get an unnecessarily complex mess that is extremely hard to untangle once you actually discover a use case which it didn't account for. The result is a "building" that cannot easily be rebuilt - said whiteboard masturbators will then argue, that "it should've just been designed better in the first place" and that the "model wasn't good enough" and will continue to draw UML diagrams that are of no use apart from impressing the sales department.

"Maybe we should use a visitor pattern to separate this strategy from the concrete adapter that is instantiated by our abstract factory so we can guarantee arbitrary observability throughout our proxied chain of responsibility."
"... listen, at this point it's just whiteboard masturbation. Just keep it simple and write a function."

by Aequitosh February 28, 2024


Jamaican masturbation technique number 9

When someone inserts a pipette into the penis hole, and starts the release water in the penis. And starts jerking it. When they finish the water splashes out inside the cum and you start eating it for good luck. People may also use jumpercables to stimulate pleasure while doing Jamaican masturbation technique number 9

Yo Vincent stop doing Jamaican masturbation technique number 9 at my house

by Piopyo man January 13, 2025


Mosquito Hairy Masturbation

A mosquito with very hairy private parts wanks to pictures of mosquito boobies.

Mhm Gurl. = Mosquito Hairy Masturbation | Growing Unlimited Red Lust

by juddily November 24, 2024


tactical masturbation

It's a term for masturbating (or busting a nut) before meeting a girl or going on a date. Now.. how is it useful? Well it helps you to think with your brain and not with your dick.

My friend: Bro.... I made a mistake. I accidentally did the deeds with Lily...

Me: God damn Lily???? Bro you really should have tactical masturbation

by Harsit2006 December 29, 2023


Amish Masturbate

To "Amish Masturbate" is to masturbate without the assistance of any modern technological advancements.
This means no screens, no porno, no vibrators, and no masturbatory aid of any kind.

Man, I've been watching too much porn lately. I think I'm going to exclusively Amish masturbate for a while.

by Epileptic Squirrel Rapist December 8, 2024


The Fisher Masturbator

An Urban Legend from colonial Southbend, Indiana about a Fisher man attending Fisher Town Hall meetings and parlor events to masturbate in public spaces. The townspeople banished him for ejaculating in the town’s lake. Legend has it, it you look too deeply into St. Joe’s river, the Fisher man stares back.

Frank: Do you that Greek story about that dude that fell in a lake or something?
Fred: Yeah, The Fisher Masturbator?

by L*na August 2, 2022